My friend: Your dick is probably like a tic tac.
Me: No wonder your moms mouth is so fresh.
Class: OOOOHHHHHH!!!
"Haha, you failed!"
"Yeah, so did your dad's condom."
* nerds phone rings in class *
Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?
* whole class laughs *
Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.
* whole class is silent *
Twinkle Twinkle little slut
Name a guy you haven't f*cked
Was he skinny, was he tall
Nevermind you did them all
Twinkle Twinkle little b*tch
Close your legs it smells like fish
Me: Mum i got a detention today
Mum: Why!
Me: Well the teacher pointed the ruler at me and said "at the end of this ruler is a idiot".
Mum: Yeah so
Me: I asked what end.
Bully - "Hey fat ass. Why you so fat?"
Fat kid - "Because every time I f*ck ya mother she give me a cookie."
Teacher- Did you do your homework?
Student - Did you grade my test?
Teacher - I have other students' tests to grade.
Student - I have other teachers' homework to do.
#LIKE A BOSS
Them: Bitch.
You: call me a b*tch again i dare you.
Them: Bitch
You: That's right b*tches do what their told.
Mom: Go clean your room!
Me: But its MY room.
Mom: And this is MY house.
Me: Then you go clean it.
Teacher: Where the hell is your math homework?!
Me: it committed suicide, had too many problems.
I hate it when ugly people say "I need my beauty sleep." Bitch you need to hibernate.
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?
Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Teacher: Why are you here so early?
Student: Because my mom told me to go to Hell...
