Shy Whispers || Michael Clifford

1

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Chapter 1

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I sit down at the furthest lunch table from the front of the room. With my floral print backpack on the table next to me, I open up the largest pocket and pull out my copy of my favorite book -- Anna and the French Kiss. As I flip through the tattered old pages, memories swim through my mind. I've read this book so many times that I can practically recite the entire thing. The way the characters grow together and how their love develops gives me hope that one day I'll find my own romance like Anna and Étienne.

Then when I stop reading and return to bitter reality, I realize how absolutely ridiculous that sounds.

I look up from my book and gaze around the crowded cafeteria, surveying all of the people. All of the people that treat me like trash. All of the people that don't understand me.

The thing is, I don't even understand why people are mean to me. All I do is sit in the back of the class and read. You'd think people would just ignore the quiet book nerd, or at least whisper about me behind my back. But no, they tease me constantly about things I can't even control. Not all of them are bad though.

Once in a while, someone tries to talk to me. They come up to my lunch table and ask if I want to come to theirs because they pity me. I always decline though. Not because I don't want to, sometimes I really do, but because I'm afraid of making friends.

I was never really good at making friends to begin with, me being an introvert and all. I had always thought that one good friend was better than a hundred acquaintances. I had that one good friend.

About four years ago, a girl named Hope managed to break down my walls. I was always so shy and reserved, but boy, she knew how to get the real me to come out. We became close friends and before I knew it, we were hanging out together everyday after school. We made fun of the 'popular' girls and the stupid jocks that they preyed on. We looked out for each other and helped one another through any problems that we came across. We were inseparable. Let's just say that changed.

She completely abandoned me. She started dating this guy and completely lost control. Not long after, she was sleeping around and was getting meaner by the minute. She would call me terrible things and accidentally hit the books out of my hand in the hallways. I never understood why. I guess they were right -- high school changes people. She broke me and didn't even care.

My fingers tap against the spine of the book as I read one of my favorite parts. The sides of my mouth lift slightly as I bury myself into my reading.

Inside of my backpack is a single green apple. I pull it out, not taking my eyes off of my book, and slowly take a bite, chewing as many times as I can before swallowing. I open my water bottle and chug down half of it, feeling incredibly thirsty all of a sudden.

I can hear the snickers from the table in front of me, but I refuse to look up at them. They make fun of me for my weight, saying I'm a twig. Saying I never eat and that I'll eventually die because of it.

Funny how that works, huh. They made fun of me in middle school for being chubby. When I finally lose weight, they still make fun of me. Now I'm too skinny. When will I ever be good enough for these people?

The whispers around me get louder than usual, so I curiously look up from my half-eaten apple. A boy walks through the aisle of the cafeteria with his head down and his hood up. I've seen him a couple times around the school, but I've never actually payed him any attention.

He quickly tries to scan the room for a place to sit and his eyes find mine. Suddenly uncomfortable, I look down at my apple. Eye contact isn't exactly my forte.