Life As We Know It

Chapter 13

RILEY'S POV

Sometimes I regret giving Luke another chance. Giving him another chance means I forgive him and I'm not so sure if I do. But then again I'm not the type to hold grudges. And here I am still grieving over this dumb boy.

Didn't even realize the tears forming in my eyes, and I instantly grabbed a tissue. I begin to wipe my eyes and blow my nose. See what I mean?

I'm crying over this jerk, and he doesn't even care. I roll my eyes at how stupid I'm being. I throw the tissue out and look to head downstairs. I stop myself and head into the bathroom.

I look at myself in the mirror and to be honest I'm not happy with what I see. People speak of being happy with yourself and accepting with who you are. They say that "you are beautiful in any way, shape, or form." But I totally disagree from my point of view.

By my looks that I see in the mirror I don't believe it one bit. My life right now is something I would have never imagined to be in. By now I thought I'd be graduating college and getting a great job. I saw myself successful and living a great life, not even thinking about making children.

But no, I'm here crying continuously over a guy I can't get over. And not to include taking care of our child.

While he has a life that he must love. A beautiful fiancé, a beautiful child with her, great success in music. What more could he ask for?

I push those negative thoughts out of my head. I can't stand here and just cry all the damn time. Seriously I need to get a grip.

I look in the mirror again, and see the paleness in my skin. I also see the bags forming under my eyes. This whole parenting thing isn't easy I'll tell you that.

I exit the bathroom only to run into Del. She looks up at me with a slight frown.

"Were you crying mummy?" She asks while holding onto my hand.

"No sweetheart, I'm fine." I say, squeezing her hand a bit.

"Are you sure mummy? Was it daddy who made your eyes leak?" She asks seeming to be angry.

"No honey, I'm fine okay. No need to worry." I say picking her up and kissing her forehead.

We head downstairs and into the living-room. I set get down on the couch only to see the guys staring at me.

Mikey gives me a whole hearted smile. Calum grins at me winks. Ashton looks at me sympathetically. While I can't tell the type of look Luke is giving me.

Its a mixture of pain, love, and guilt. All in one.

This boy will be the death of me.