Pull me closer || Yoomin ( Taekook, Namjin, Sope )

I have to go now.

Jimin pov

I knew that voice. I knew that breath I could feel behind me. It was Yoongi. I didn't want him to see the weak me again. That day I bumped into him, fell and started bleeding. He literally had to carry me. I am such an idiot. He must have known that I like him. I just started at him the whole time. Seeking comfort from the warmth of his body that covered me, his hands that held my waist, his soft lips that constantly made me wonder of its taste. This time again he is gonna see me, so naive and vulnerable. He must have seen my cuts! What should I do now! I am not gonna turn. He wouldn't care. He would just walk away. It's alright. He doesn't care. I kept on telling to myself.

"Can I hug you?" What did I hear! What is he saying! Is he mocking me! Before I could answer, his arms were already around me, tight. He leaned his head on my back and pulled me towards his chest. I have never felt so happy and sad at the same time. I broke down to tears again and he didn't leave the entire time. He held me until I calmed down. He released me and came front to face me. I looked into his eyes and I knew that I was already in love. His hands came up and touched my face. I blushed so hard. I hope the tears hid my face turning red.

"Are you alright, Mochi?" He asked, wiping my tears. Why is he calling me mochi? Isn't that some kind of a dessert? Maybe I misheard him. I just nodded. He must think that I'm desperately pretending to be the damsel in distress. He must think that I'm a naive kid. He just pulled me up, wiped my tears and told me to follow him. So I did.

"Don't ask too many questions, I am gonna take you somewhere" he said, looking straight into my eyes. He didn't seem like a soft guy to me. His face which can be expressionless sometimes made me think that he was cold. But he isn't. He was the kindest person I ever knew. So far he is the only one who has seen me in my weakest point and didn't judge. Right now, he is the only one I trust. So, I agreed.

We walked outside the campus, neither of us said a word. An awkward silence surrounded us but Yoongi gave me a small smile every once in a while. Thank God, at least he didn't ask about my cuts. After walking for 15 mins in those silent roads filled with pretty flowers, we reached a lake. It was beautiful with clear still water, birds chirping and eating grains, squirrels and butterflies playing around the flowers and with the vibrant sun above all this. I have never been here before. Never been to a stunning place like this. He took me to sit down under the shade of a huge tree and we sat next to each other. It felt like a fairy tale. And as I expected, he finally asked the question. " Why are you doing this to yourself? why are cutting? Did you go through a breakup? Is there a problem at home? You can talk to me. I am always here. I will always be here for you" he said. I didn't know what to say. Why is he saying all this? I am an unworthy idiot who deserves nothing in life. I am just worthless. Why is he so sweet? Why is he making me fall so hard for him?! "It's nothing, I'm just a little depressed, it's alright, you don't have to worry -" I started blabbering but he cut me off. "See Mochi, I am here for you, something about you makes me wanna stay with you and make you happy. I couldn't see you crying like this every day, I wanna see you smile. Please, tell me what's wrong, we can sort it out" wow. He liked me? Did I hear him wrong? Anyway he started at me until I opened my mouth to talk, he threatened me by just looking, but his eyes were filled with concern. Hoping that he wouldn't judge me, I told him.

"I'm an only child, my mother left me when I was young for a richer man. My father is a workaholic and he shows all his anger on me. He hits  and punches me on places you can't see. Yesterday was his birthday and so I made a cake for him, he usually eats it and says nothing but this time he threw it, he threw it right on my face and slapped me and told me that I'm a disgrace, that I'm a lady, that I'm a sin because I'm gay. I felt worthless. I was kicked out of my old school because I stood up to the bullies who punched me down when they knew that I liked guys. It was hard surviving all this. So I cut myself. I cut myself because, the pain when the blood leaks from my hands is stronger than the cut in my heart so I cut myself to feel better, to feel my blood rushing through my veins, to feel my tears rolling down my cheeks, to feel alive because I'm a coward and I couldn't cut deep enough to die" tears automatically started bursting out, I couldn't control it.
Yoongi hugged me again. Tighter. He rolled up the sleeves on my left hand and observed the cuts. He noticed the new cut I made yesterday. He took a bandaid from his pocket and slowly attached in on the wound. He looked at my face and I saw him hold back his tears. " I'm so sorry Jiminie. I didn't know that you had to go through all that. If you wanna talk, I am always here. I am just a call away. Don't let him treat you like.I will come and fight him if he dared to touch you again. Please stop cutting yourself! I can't see you in pain, you are beautiful when you smile" he said. I didn't know what to do. No one has ever called me Jiminie or Mochi. I was breathless. I couldn't think of anything else other than kissing him. So I did. I am an idiot. I KISSED HIM. I KISSED A STRAIGHT MAN WHO HAS A GIRLFRIEND. SHIT. I felt his soft lips on mine, that tasted of a sweet strawberry. I wanted to kiss his lips for the rest of my life but also wanted to bury myself six feet under the ground. He didn't react, he was just shocked. He didn't kiss me back. He didn't protest. He just sat there waiting for it to be over. It was embarrassing. I didn't know what to do. I ruined it. I ruined everything. He hates me. He won't even look at me the same way! What is wrong with me!

I backed off immediately and stood up to leave. "Jimin, wait. I-" he started, pulling me down. I didn't wanna hear it. I knew that he has a girlfriend and I still kissed him. I kissed the only person who cared about me. I just wanted to fucking leave. Just die. I pulled my hand away from him with full swing, pushing him away. I wanted to run off a cliff. I was so embarrassed, I could feel my ears turn read and I couldn't control my tears.

"I have to go now" I said, tears pouring out of my eyes and I rushed out of the place as fast as I can and never looked back.