Total Drama Returns(season 1)

Episode 1. The Drama Returns

Chris:"Yoo! This is Chris McClean, the host of the hottest new tv show where 15 teens will compete for a cash prize. We haven't done a season since Pakitew, but the wait is over, this is a brand new season, with a brand new island, and a brand new cast. This is...Total Drama Returns!" (Que the intro). Chris says as he's walking on the dock:"as i mentioned before, this season we got a brand new cast, yep that's right, a fresh batch of losers. who will compete for the money, speaking of which, here they come" he stops walking when he's at the end of the dock. A boat stops next to the dock. Chris:"our first contestant is the quiet one: Hannah!" Hannah stared at him with a blank expression on her face and said nothing. Chris:"not much of a talker, huh?" The girl just blinked and didn't say anything. Chris:"i guess not, moving on...the dumb hypocrite: Charlotte!" Charolotte:"where's the money?" Chris:"you have to win it" Charlotte:"uhhh, fine, I'll wait" Chris:"next...the outspoken nerd: Rosie!" Rosie:"I've seen all the seasons multiple times, so if you think you can fool me with your nice guy act, then you're surely mistaken" Chris:"next...the rambo farmer: Farmer Sam!" Sam:"better not play any tricks on me Chris!" Chris:"next...the cynic: Jim" Jim:"i don't trust you or anyone on this island" Chris:"ouch...next, the dork: Jordan!" Jordan:"I've always to know what it was like to compete on total drama, man I'm excited" Chris:"next up...the optimistic gay: Mody!" Mody:"gay? I prefer the term homose-" Chris:"nobody cares, next up...the tomboy: Amy!" Mody:"rude" Amy:"yeah! Get ready to lose to me, because I'm gonna win this!" Chris:"next we have the jock: Lee!" Lee:"yeah right, I'm gonna be the one to take home the cash, so get ready to eat my dust!" Amy and Lee start arguing. Jordan:"hey, I'm Jordan, nice to meet you all" Hannah stared at him and didn't say a thing. Jim:"nice to meet a complete stranger i just met" Jordan:"well what's your name?" Jim:"i wasn't introducing myself, i was being sarcastic" Jordan:"ohh" Chris:"next up, we have the pizza guy: Shane!" Shane:"that's my label? Sure i work at a pizza place, but still, is that the best you could come up with-" Chris:"moving along...the nerdy joker: Mike!" Mike:"i see you finally got rebooted" Chris:"what do you mean?" Mike:"yeah, after years, you finally hosting a new season. I hope you took the time to increase your hosting skills, they were kinda lacking bro" Chris:"so you're a funny guy?" Mike:"only when i want to be" Chris rolls his eyes. Chris:"moving on...the sweaty slob: Dave!" Dave:"sup Chris, i heard what the other guy just said, but i think you were a great host" Chris:"thanks, I'm glad someone knows I'm talented" Mike:"i don't know if you can call hosting a talent, but-" Chris:"moving on...the overcompetitive nag: Crissie!" Crissie just kept walking. Chris:"not much of a talker either i see" Jordan:"hey, I'm Jordan, nice to meet you-" Crissie:"don't waste your time trying to become my friend, relationships always hold people back in these kind of shows. So go look for some other idiot to be your friend" Mike:"that's cold" Crissie:"well it's the truth" Shane:"I'll be your friend, I'm Shane" Jordan:"really? Thanks, I'm Jordan" Chris:"last but not least...the naive innocent: Liz!" Liz:"hey everyone" Shane and Jordan:"hey" Liz and the two boys started talking. Chris:"now-" girl on boat:"wait!" She trips and falls off the boat, hitting her chin on the dock(like Izzy on island) and fell into the water. Chris:"oh yeah...forgot about her" Chris:"last and least...the clumsy dunce: Sarah!" Sarah climbed back up. Chris:"now that everyone's here, it's time to tell you the rules of the game. First off, there will be no invincibility statues of any kind this season....other then that, there really aren't any rules besides, whoever stays the longest wins 1 million dollars" Farmer Sam:"then lets start this thing!" Shane:"wait, what about teams?" Chris:"oh yeah, glad you mentioned that. This season there will be 2 teams of 7." Mody:"but there's 15 of us" Chris:"the first challenge is to find 14 Chris statues and meet at the mess hall, remember, the statues won't count as invincibility, so you can keep them if you want after the challenge, but they'll be useless. Anyway, the 14 who find a statue will be safe and will be put on a team next episode, the 1 person who doesn't find a statue will be eliminated...the challenge starts now!" Everyone gets started looking for the statues. Shane:"hey Liz, wanna search with Jordan and i?" Liz:"sure" Amy:"I'll race you to see who can find one first!" Lee:"oh, you're on!" They run in opposite directions. Mody searches with Rosie. Everyone else is searching on their own. Jordan:"I'm glad i met some cool people here, nobody else seemed interested in being friends" Shane:"same, you two seen cool, hiw about we form an alliance, you know, if you want to" Jordan:"heck yeah!" Liz:"sure, I'm glad i made some new friends too, i don't have many back at home" Shane:"well now you have two more friends" Liz:"thanks" Shane:"hey wait, is that a statue?" He points at a statue. Jordan:"yeah, it is" Liz:"well, since you spotted it, i think you should have it" Shane bows and says:"ladies first" Liz:"are you sure?" Shane:"yep" Liz:"thanks" she grabs the statue and Chris yells through a megaphone:"13 statues left!" Shane:"how did he know?" Jordan:"well, there are cameras everywhere" Shane:"good point" Liz:"well...goodluck you two, i hope you two are safe" Liz walks to the mess hall and waits for the challenge to end. Not long after, Hannah also found a statue. Chris:"12 statues remaining!" Charlotte finds a statue. Charlotte:"wow, good thing I'm not like those losers on a scavenger hunt" she goes to the mess hall. Chris:"11 statues remain!" Amy ran to tye mess hall. Amy:"yes! Yes! Yes! I beat him!" Chris:"10 statues left!" Jim walked in after Amy. Jim says sarcastically:"yay, i get to stay" Chris:"9 statues left!" Mody and Rosie were searching at the campsite. Mody:"and i don't know why, but i feel like i might nit make it so far, i mean, what if these guys are homophobic?" Rosie:"calm down, I'm sure sexuality has no effect on whether you stay or go home" Mody:"yeah, yeah, you're probably right" Rosie:"here" she tosses him something, and he quickly catches it. Mody:"the statue?" Chris:"8 left!" Rosie:"just so you feel safe and calm" Mody:"thanks Rosie, you're the best" he hugs her and runs to the mess hall. Mody:"i hope you're safe too!" Dave:"yeah! I'm safe!" Chris:"7 statues left for the taking!" Shane:"hey, i found a statue" Jordan:"good job man" Shane:"i want you to have it" Jordan:"really?!" Shane:"yep" Jordan:"thanks man!" I hope you're safe too" Chris:"6 statues left!" Mike sees a statue. Mike:"nice" he was about to grab it, when his hand made contact with someone else's. It was Crissie, she had also seen the statue. Mike:"heh, please, you take it" Crissie:"okay" she took it and walked away. Mike:"wh-what? No thanks or anything?" Crissie:"oh, you're funny, you thought i was gonna thank you after you offered me the statue? I thought i was gonna have to beat you up, but you made it easier for yourself, if anything, you should be thanking me for not beating you up" Mike:"someone's a bit too competitive" Crissie:"of course i am, this is for a million dollars, shouldn't we all be too competitive?!" Mike:"nope. Not me, I'm laid back and relaxed, and you my friend need to chill" Crissie:"first of, don't call me your friend. Second off..." She kicks him in the balls. Mike:"ow!" He falls. Crissie:"you might wanna lay back and let your balls relax for a minute" she went to the mess hall. Chris:"5 statues left!"

Confessional
Mike:"damn, when we touched hands and looked at each other, i thought: dang, she's really cute, maybe i should let her have the statue. But now...well, i still think she's cute, she's a bitch, but at least she's a cute bitch"

Rosie found a statue and went to the mess hall, followed by farmer Sam. Chris:"3 statues left!" Mike walked to the mess hall with a statue. Crissie:"so you did find another one?" Mike:"yep, you know, right after you kicked me in the balls" Crissie:"oh I'm sorry, want me to get you an ice pack?" Mike:"that would be nice" Crissie:"i was joking, i thought you out of all people would get that it was a joke" Mike:"whatever" Chris:"2 statues remain!" Lee came into the mess hall. Chris:"1 statue left!" Amy:"ha! In your face, i beat you!" Lee:"I'll beat you next time!" Jordan:"dammit, only one statue left, and Shane hasn't returned" Liz:"I'm sure he'll make it" Liz says in her head:"i hope he does" Shane and Sarah bump into each other and spot the last statue near the mess hall. Sarah and Shane raced towards it, but Sarah beat Shane to it. She then tripped on a rock and sent the statue in the air. Shane caught it and went into the mess hall. Chris:"0 statues left! The challenge is over!" Chris:"that means you're going home, Sarah" Sarah:"aww man" Chris:"the dock of shame awaits" she gets on the boat and is drove away from the island. Chris:"1 down...15 to go...who will go home next? Will Lee beat Amy? How long will Mike's balls last? Find out next time on Total....Drama...Returns!"