Born to Die

Chapter Six

The following morning I was awoken earlier than usual, shackled and cuffed with Zeke by my side making sure I wasn't hurt in the process.  He's just doing his job. I told myself but I knew he genuinely cared for me and was doing a lot more than just that.  I was informed that for a one week period I'd be in isolation at the ward, then if I was cleared as not being a threat to myself or others I'd be allowed to interact more freely with all the lovely folk in the looney bin. Great. I was led to a car parked directly outside the precinct, and although I knew where it was taking me, I couldn't help but be thankful. It was the first time in what felt like a lifetime that I'd actually felt the sun on my face, heard birds chirping and I took it all in selfishly. As I approached the car, the guards escorting me all fell back, leaving me standing face to face with Zeke. His eyes were sad but they twinkled a little in the sunlight. Beautiful. "I don't know what to say." He said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm really sad to see you go. I mean I'm glad you're out of here but I just wish it had been on different terms you know?" I nodded slightly. "Yeah. Me too." After a moment's hesitation he asked the very question I'd been dreading. "So, will I ever see you again?" I did not want to say no but I could not risk saying yes so I cracked a joke about it.  "Sure you will, you've got the pictures from my arrest don't you?" He did not smile. "Hope, I mean it." "So do I. Maybe someday the precinct will upgrade and you could even track me down using satellite signals or whatever." Still there was no amusement visible on his face. Just in time the driver yelled out the window that it's time to go if we want to beat peak hour. Zeke nodded stiffly and guided me gently into the back seat of the car. Before leaving, he placed a kiss on my forehead and whispered into my hair "Goodbye Hope Argondale."

It was a forty five minute drive and the entire time I could feel Zeke's soft lips on my forehead. My skin tingled and it just felt like I'd been kissed by an angel, not a man. But he is a man. That is all he is. Get over it. But I couldn't or maybe it just beat the alternative of imagining what the place I was headed was like. When we finally arrived I was escorted down a long hall booming with sound and people and chatter and laughter, all of which subsided to hushed whispers as I walked past. When I reached a heavily padded cell at the very end of the hall, the noise resumed.  The nurses brought a peculiar looking jacket towards me then ushered to the guards to hold me still. "Wait. Wait! What is that? Tell me what it is!" I was kicking and screaming by then, making it impossible for them to fit what I figured was a straight jacket onto me. So they pulled out the next best thing, a sedative. A nurse with a kind face tilted my head back while two guards held me still. "I'm sorry dear," she said as she pushed the plunger down.

I woke up in a cot in the heavily padded room, my legs strapped down to the bed and my arms tucked securely into the straight jacket. After a few minutes a nurse came in and checked up on me then told me that my psychologist would attend to me shortly. She spoke in a very matter-of-fact way without much emotion, so I didn't particularly like her on account of that. But I sure as hell liked her a whole lot more than my psychologist. As soon as she entered the room, it was filled with the exact same smell I had picked up on at the hospital. The same smell as my father. No, you're mistaken. It can't be.  You're paranoid. I told myself, but the similarities in her behaviour and my father's was undeniable. The way they circled around you,  trying to make you feel inferior, then paused, then circled you again, only while they spoke but paused for your response. If it was not what they wanted to hear, they'd inch closer. Those sort of small details that you don't usually pick up on. She had physical similarities too, like maybe to the extent that a cousin might, but it was difficult to accurately assess how similar they really were because she was so young, didn't look a year older than me. Obviously in her position though she'd have to be a bit older. She had the same dark brown, curly hair and big light brown almond eyes. She had a slight olive complexion and pink pouty lips. She was actually remarkably pretty. But I did not trust her. "So, Hope, if we are to make any progress here together, which would ultimately work to your advantage, allowing you to leave this place sooner, we are going to have to work together. You are going to have to trust me; to be honest with me. Open up to me. Can you do that?" I guess that lying when making a pledge of honesty and trust is not the best idea ever, but I did so anyway. "Sure. I think I can manage." I said,  flashing my best fake smile at her. "Great! I was hoping you would be this cooperative. Just keep this up and we'll have you out of here in no time. By the way you can call me Dr Michaelson." And then she proceeded apace with our tedious session of tormenting questions and answers, most of which were admittedly lies.

That is how the next week of my life went. I was drugged to fall asleep, left to sleep in, which I had been severely punished for my entire life so it was a new luxury, feed and interrogated by Dr Michaelson, and then drugged again to fall asleep. Apart from her I had no contact with anyone but the nurses and they weren't big talkers. The nurse with the kind face never returned to my room. Finally after a monotone week of torture, I was moved to a normal room, with normal walls and was allowed to interact with normal people... well as normal as they got in mental facilities. I still had to attend daily sessions with Dr Michaelson, who I still did not trust, but I was just glad I was finally out of a cell. I was out.