Born to Die

Chapter Seven

Life in the asylum was not as bad as I thought. We had a TV, which I had never had before, board games and lots of other great things to keep us entertained throughout the day, all of which were yet more things that I was never allowed to have under my father's roof. The other patients thought my fascination with everything was more entertaining than the objects themselves, but what would they know, afterall most of them were crazy. I also made my first group of friends ever.

Hannah was my roommate and the first person I got to know. She had been diagnosed with as a borderline, apparently the most common mental illness. So many people have it, but learn to live with it. She was in the unlucky minority. She had attempted suicide by mixing pain killers with booze a few years ago, which was apparently the last straw for her parents. They had been having a hard time dealing with her mood swings and multiple suicide attempts for years already, so they decided to get her professional help and admit her here.

Peter was bipolar, when I met him he was experiencing a "rough patch" the others had told me but assured me he'd be back to his normal, jolly self soon enough.  He was admitted after having a severe psychotic break during a depression period, in which he attempted to murder his ten year old sister who he was meant to be babysitting. Luckily she made it out ok, only missing her spleen.

Amy had a severe eating disorder and body dismorphia.  She was a recovering anorexic and in dire need of constant attention to stop her from having yet another downwards spiral.

Ruby, well Ruby was a special case. None of the patients really knew what she had, but she was the most innocent thing.  She thought she was quite literally a Ruby, claimed that God gave her the name for a reason. 

And then there was Chris. Chris was molested as a child and it really took its toll on him. Although the abuse stopped, he never forgot it and was never quite the same afterwards. 

So those were the people I got close enough to to call my friends at Indiana Cemetery Hill Psychiatric. They made it all bearable in a way.

During my fifth week there, a fight broke out. This girl, Lucy, who swore she could hear the spirits speak said that they follow me around, warning all those who will listen of the darkness within my soul. Of the treachery of my destiny and the bloodshed I will cause. Ruby started wailing at this, which really pissed off Peter,  who I assumed used her as his sister replacement given that she'd sworn to never forgive him for what he'd done to her, even if he was sick. And let me tell you, pissing off someone with bipolar during a phase of depression is not a smart thing to do. He pounced on Lucy, punching her repeatedly until the guards finally were able to break up the fight. Lucy was taken to the medical ward, while Peter was put in isolation. Meanwhile, although I technically played no part in the whole thing, I was made to attend extra sessions with Dr Parker, another one of the resident psychologists, the one for the really messed up cases. I trusted her a lot more than Dr Michaelson. As time passed I came to realize more and more that the other patients, the people I had initially looked down on for being sick were more like me than I'd ever imagined. In contrast to people's stigmatized definition of them based solely on their illness, they were much more than that.

Three uneventful weeks later, I was cleared as stable enough to return to my life by both doctors in court, bringing me to a grand total of exactly two months of acting sane in a mental institute. Go me! As soon as I was cleared, I was left thinking what now? Where do I go? Zeke. Go to Zeke.  He wanted to see you.  No Zeke has forgotten about you. Anywhere else but Zeke. Just as I thought the words, Dr Michaelson came up from behind me to congratulate me on being a free woman now for the first time in my life. "I hope you use I wisely and do what's best for yourself and everyone around you. Say, I never asked, what do you plan on doing now? Do you have anywhere to go?" I tried my best to smile but even I could tell it was visibly strained. God I hated her insatiable curiosity. "No plans and no where to go to be completely honest." For the first time. I silently added. "Really? Well if you needed a place to stay, I have this friend, I'm sure you'll get along with her just fine. She lives in a huge house in a lovely neighbourhood all by herself, she's about your age, give or take. I could give her a call? And I'm sure she'd even be able to give you some inspiration on where to go from here. How does that sound?" Anyone but Zeke. "If it's no trouble... Thanks Dr Michaelson. " Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.  "No trouble at all. And please, call me Jenny. I'll drive you to her place, and call her in the car." So we went, found Jenny's car as she punched numbers into her smart phone at an incredible speed. "Hey Kim! Is it okay if a friend stays with you for a while? Her name's Hope Argondale." She said my name with such a deliberate tone, but I let it slide. "Great! We are on our way. See you in a jiffy." And with that we were headed away from all the neighborhoods I knew, everything I found security in and towards a stranger's house who I'd be shacking up with for God knows how long. What could possibly go wrong? A lot. Shut up brain! And for once, it listened, as the "lovely neighbourhood" came into view. It was incredible. Absolutely breath taking. "Wow!" I exclaimed, genuinely excited. "I know right! And that's only the beginning."Jenny replied.  I wondered what she meant but kept my mouth closed, just relishing in the beauty of that moment.