Oh How Times Have Changed

IX

Monday was a complete drag.

On Saturday night I was fearlessly dancing around a front room packed with people and making out with a guy in public. Now, I was once again hiding in a bathroom stall to avoid having the shit kicked out of me.

I pulled the hoodie I was wearing around me, breathing in the familiar smell. Will and I had been texting now and again, getting to know each other more. He was a really sweet guy. We didn't have as much in common as Felix and I did, but opposites attract, right?

The bell rang and I strolled out of the toilets. Time for detention. Yay.

I had been dreading this moment since our interaction in the bathrooms on Saturday. I don't know if he even remembers what happened, but if he did, then this was about to be incredibly awkward. I doubt the big, macho guy would take kindly to me having seen him at his breaking point, bawling into my chest.

I entered the usual room and dropped into my seat, waiting. I saw his head bobbing up and down through the classroom window as he walked towards the door. He stopped suddenly- standing there for a while. What the hell was he doing? I wanted to get this over with. After a few moments, it dawned on me that he was preparing himself to walk in and I frowned. Was he really that embarrassed about it?

He finally walked in and his eyes went straight to my jumper, scowling. He sat in the seat across from me and took out his books, avoiding eye contact. It had been like this since I had called him out for asking questions last week. It was really awkward. I had stopped being so scared of him, he hadn't once made any move to hurt me. He just allowed other people to do it instead. I realised Jimmy Wellot was all bark and no bite; now he was just rude and annoying.

I opened his textbook to the page we had left off at and set him some tasks. I sat watching him do them for a while, before realising he was working twice as slow today. I sighed, closing his textbook. He was going to get nothing done today if he kept this up. He looked up at me, alarmed, before ducking his dead. His usual cocky demeanour had been replaced with that of a kicked puppy.

"Let's talk." I stated, my voice sounding confident, despite the wobble.

"We've got nothing to talk about." He snapped, opening the textbook again.

"Clearly we do." I sighed, closing the textbook again, "You wanna end this. I wanna end this. If we talk about it, you can focus and we can finish this tutoring nonsense. This is your chance, talk away."

The room fell silent for a minute or two. I let him think about what he was going to say as I studied him. He looked rough. His general look was usually a little rough around the edges- typical bad boy kind of charm. Right now, however, he just looked rough. His usual stubble was now a beard, his hair looked messy and the bags under his eyes suggested he hadn't slept.

"How come you never told anyone what I did?" He asked meekly, finally meeting my eyes.

His eyes looked pained. They were filled with confusion; he was confused as to why I never told anyone, despite all the pain I was put through because of his actions.

"It's not my place to tell." I stated simply, "You have to come to terms with it. Besides, I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. Even you."

"Sometimes I think it would have been easier if you had told people." His voice was so small, it sounded like a whisper.

"Trust me. It wouldn't have been." I shook my head.

More silence. I couldn't even guess what was going through his head right now. He was certainly conflicted with himself. Despite wishing I didn't, I felt a trickle of sympathy for him. What he's done has been awful, but if I were in his place, would I have done anything differently?