Oh How Times Have Changed

XXV

I threw my hands up, laughing with everyone as I moved my hips to the beat of the music. I had drank a lot of alcohol. More than ever before. I didn't know the song, but that was usually the case. I had never seen so many people in my life, the house was buzzing with people. When the party had first started, Felix and Oli had taken me around to introduce me to everyone. I felt a little odd, but I was pushing that down as far as I could. I wanted to have fun tonight. I wouldn't let a silly feeling interrupt that.

I had certainly made a lot of new friends tonight. As the party carried on, it was impossible to meet everyone here. People were just flooding through the doors. Oli had taken it upon himself to stand at the door to monitor who was coming in, since I was so nervous about goons crashing the party. That had helped me relax a bit.

I was dancing with Saint and Mia, all of us pulling some goofy moves. I had really grown to like Mia- she was super friendly and a really good listener. Saint and her were a really good couple, they seemed like they were made for each other. I wanted something like that- somebody who just understands me.

Felix and Mike wandered over, carrying a plate of drinks. He distributed them and I studied the contents. It looks like another one of Felix's fruity concoctions that he loves to make- it didn't smell too strong, but my stomach still flipped uneasily at the smell of it.

"Let's do cheers!" Felix cheered, catching the attention of a few people nearby, "To winning the match!"

We all drank.

"To all of us smashing our exams coming up!" Saint cheered.

We all drank some more.

"And to Andy! For this amazing party and being an amazing new friend." Oli cheered, holding a coca cola and coming out of nowhere.

Everyone whooped to that one, including a few of the strangers in the front room. I blushed slightly, sipping my drink and thanking everyone. It settled uneasily in my stomach, making my smile slip. The music was turned up once again and everyone split off to dance, leaving Oli and I alone.

"May I have this dance?" Oli said jokingly, bowing slightly.

I pretended to curtsey and took his hand, dancing with him. He was actually a pretty good dancer and I felt slightly self conscious. I think he noticed because he took my hand, placing his other hand on my waist and helping me sway with him. My cheeks were burning red hot.

"You look cute." Oli whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine and making me tense up.

I smiled meekly at him, my mouth going dry and smile feeling fake. I wasn't sure how I felt about all of this- I had told him I wasn't ready for any of that, but after all it was only a compliment. I felt overwhelmed. I told him I needed the bathroom and headed straight for the stairs.

I picked my way through the people until I got to the stairs, stumbling a bit while heading up the glass stairs. It was hard to make out where the stairs were in my drunken state, considering they were transparent. There were a few people milling around up here, but luckily it was mostly empty. I had made sure to lock the bedrooms- I don't think Daxx would appreciate college kids doing it on his bed. My head felt so hazy.

I unlocked my bedroom door, stepping inside. I closed the door behind me and headed to my balcony. I let the fresh night time air wash over me, breathing a sigh of relief. I was enjoying myself, but I couldn't help the dark feelings creeping up. I felt like they were bubbling up inside me, threatening to spill over. I felt frustrated- what was wrong with me? I had such good friends, why couldn't I just be happy right now?

I looked down below me. The drop didn't seem far enough. It didn't seem as comforting as the drop off of the edge of the cliff. I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts away. It wasn't working. I felt like I was suffocating. I climbed up onto the balcony railing, sitting and letting my legs dangle off the edge. I could feel tears brimming.