Book of thoughts

Water

...

This is a MAD vent about water. It's very easy to guess who water is if you know me. If you don't, she is my ex.

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      Yknow. I miss a lot about her. I miss how beautiful she was. I miss her freckles and her eyes. Her smile. Her laugh. I miss her dumb jokes. I miss her voice the most. She always had this. Calm sweet voice. I can't seem to hear it anymore. I forgot what you sound like. I can vaguely remember how you look. My mind is blocking you out. And I'm letting it. I miss talking to you and cosplaying with you. I miss laughing and crying with you.
      I don't miss how you acted sometimes. You were always such a hypocrite. You told me not to say bad shit about myself but then you go on and say shit about yourself. I don't miss all the times you made me feel like shit for things I was so use to doing. You made me feel like absolute shit for smoking. You made me feel like shit for not wanting to go to college. You made me feel like shit for liking porn and making sexual jokes. You made me feel like shit for making harmless jokes about religion. That another thing. Religion. I always fucking hated it. And you loved it.
      I gave you so much of my time and attention. Only for you to blame me for shit that you did too? Oh I took your time. I kept you away from your friends and family. Last time I fucking checked, you didn't like your family other than your niece. And who are you to say that shit to me? I couldn't say bye to my cousin who I barely get to see because of you. I missed get togethers With my cousins. I missed hanging out with my closest friends.
      I hate wishing bad on people but I can't help but send it your way. You lied to me. You said you would be there. You said you would help me. You should've said no. Why did you make me believe all that shit? You are just as bad as he was. Which is kinda ironic. You went through the same shit as me. We cried over the same fucking shit. Only for you to pull that shit on me. That's honestly so fucking funny.
      I'm glad you're "a lot less stressed now". But I hope, I pray, I wish, you would get what you fucking deserve. I truly did love you. But I'm not sure you loved me.