Book of thoughts

Everything

...

I'm hungry. But my stomach hurts so bad. Probably from not eating. My leg hurts. My back feels weird. What's that in my throat. I love this song. It's a good song. It reminds me of me. Of Remus. I can't stop moving can I? My shoulder stings. I want this tattoo. But I want to get it and put it right over my veins. I want to end my life. But I love Leo. They make me happy. And sunee. Sunee licked my elbow. That makes me happy. What the hell is in my throat. Why does it feel weird. Now it's in my chest too? My hand is falling asleep. Where is everyone? My mom is gone I think. That's interesting. My eye doesn't hurt anymore. I miss their laugh. Their laugh. I mean T not river. But I miss river too. Fuck my heart hurts now. I miss rivers smile and laugh. But she was so mean to me. I hope she gets hurt. That's rude. She's really pretty. I can't think about her anymore. It's making my stomach hurt. I'm in so much pain. Why. Why is it so hot now. Am I getting angry. I think I'm angry. I have the need to hit my fist against the wall over and over. I can't take it. I can't I can't. I'm going to vomit. I can feel it now. I'm so angry. Why would she say all that shit to me? Why didn't I say anything back? What did I do wrong. I'm crying now. What did I do wrong? Was I a bad boyfriend? A bad friend in general? Am i a bad friend to everyone? Everyone hates me huh? River just had the balls to tell me huh? T hates me too. Leo hates me too. Miriam, vero, and Jen hate me too. They all do. So does my family. I should just kill myself. No I can't do that. I made a promise. According to river I'm bad at keeping promises. Fuck river. She messed me up all over again. After she told me she would be there for me. I hate her. I hate her so much. But I miss her. Why am I crying. If I run away I'll be fine. I can't. I can't do that. I'm going to vomit. I'm so disgusting. I can feel it in my throat.