Dream Amour.

Intoxicated.

I don't really know a lot about love. But you're in my head and it just feels so good.

It has started pouring down again. I am in an unexplained rush to make it past this time frame. My mind is numb but I can't put myself to sleep. My eyes hurt but they wouldn't shut.

You're just a stranger that I admire. A person who is just beautiful to stare at from the outside. Why does my eyes long to see you when you're around. Why am I always smiling when you look at me. Am I in love or is it just a beautiful lie. These feelings are pretty confusing but all I know is when you're around, there's no where else I would rather want to be.

The room is dark but I'm still staring at the ceiling. The flashlights from the cars down the street hit the roof once in a while and the static fan starts to dance with the dusky shadows. It's unclear and fading away. Right when it's about to fade out, my eyes blink and grasp a clear hold of this vision.

The air is unlike other times of the year. It's stagnant and dry one moment and the next, it's raining. I watch this autumn sky from my bedside window that is more ambiguous and vague than a one-sided love. Everything feels gloomy.

It's a few scores of minutes past 3:00 am. And I still dread it. The ungranted wishes and unspoken words are flogging my mind. I struggle and pray to crawl out of it without questioning my life choices and making some life-changing decisions that I made in disappointments, this night too. I decided I needed to walk past through feeling submerged in his thoughts.

I have learnt to let go of it all; little by little, step by step. But somehow I still end up depositing flowers on crisp autumn mornings and burying the fallen leaves under them. Giving the dead leaves a purpose to feel full-filled when the flowers are so overwhelmed to let go of their long-dead companions from good old summers and bright pollen struck springs in the quiet and gloomy but surreal autumns.

All that I've said, I do but I don't. Then other times, I don't but I do. Just like I let go of you but held on to my favourite parts.

I opened my eyes and woke up tired. I wonder if other beings wake up tired as well. As if their body calls for help and their eyes are scared of lights.
Now that my bones hurt, at least my mind is focused and thoughts no longer scattered.

Luckily, it's five hours past 3:00 a.m. A new day awaits while you're still with me the whole day. I know physically you're miles away. You're miles away from me but I know you're right here in my heart. You're in my thoughts the whole day and I am sure you won't disappear?  Will you?

While I dress up I hear my phone beep, "Good morning, I am waiting in the notice board."
I quickly left home as I knew I was late again. The traffic was more dissapointing than my sleep schedule. I reached the college gate and i get two continuous messages.
"It's 10.10, where are you?", he messaged.
The second one was from one of my group friend, "Bella, we are all waiting for you. Come soon."
"Just reached college", I quickly messaged both.

And since I was late I didn't meet him.
I casually entered the cafeteria. I met my group of friends. The ambience was the same like always, full of laughter and loud cheers. All the members of our group would target Steven. He is a person on whom we all loved to pass random comments and by now he was accustomed to it.

The bell would ring as a signal for halt and we all knew that we had to part ways, hoping that we will positively meet the next day.

While sipping coffee and enjoying the lame jokes, I spotted him at a corner sitting and talking. His eyes glanced at me, he looked straight to my eyes and I quickly turned mine. I didn't meet him. I just saw him from some tables apart.

I walked out of the cafeteria as I got a call saying, "Hello, come outside I need to meet you."