Her Garden

Chapter 26

6:56 PM

After a while, a nurse came on and attempted to speak to me.

I was weary at first but I knew he was only trying to help in the end so it shouldn't matter.

"Hey, look who's awake!", he walked in and nodded to my family members, making them smile his way before leaving the room.

Please don't kill me dude, I have high hopes for you.

He had mid length black hair, and pale brown eyes. Not much about him seemed above or below average.

"Tell me how you're feeling."

"Uh...my lungs hurt. And my throat does too but Im okay."

"Are you cold?"

"A little bit."

"Well you certainly look much better."

"Did I look back when I came in?"

He smiled softly.

"Your skin was turning blue and you were barely breathing. Though, now you seem to be alright. The nurse who came in an hour ago checked your vitals, I trust, which means all I need to do is question you and make sure you're still okay."

"Oh. Okay..."

"Are you dizzy?"

"No I'm fine."

"Not lightheaded at all?"

"No..."

"Does it hurt to breathe any?"

"Only a little."

I watched as he scribbled stuff down on his clipboard, occasionally glancing at me. He seemed pretty nicer

"Do you normally have trouble breathing?"

"Only when-...uh...", I stopped myself before bringing up the matter, though it was definitely something he should know about.

"Come on kid, you can tell me anything. Especially if it's important."

"Okay uh. My mom...she drowned so that's something that scares me you know?"

"I'm sorry to hear that. But continue."

"Well, almost daily I'll get panic attacks because of that. And when I do, I space out and I can't breathe. The room starts to fill with water and it doesn't go away until someone can snap me out of it."

"This happens almost daily?"

"Y-yes...", I muttered.

"Is that what happened the night you were emitted to this hospital?"

"Yes. I could feel water in my lungs even though it wasn't there. All I can remember after spacing out was being cold while sitting in the car. My sister was trying to talk to me and I couldn't respond."

"Have you had these delusions today?"

"No."

"Do you feel any sort of paranoia?"

"N-No I don't think so."

I really had that issue of shrinking to nothing in front of intimidating people. It made me feel kinda week.

"Have you ever struggled with depression or other mental disorders that your family doesn't know about?"

"No."

"Do they know about your delusions and panic attacks?"

"No."

"Do you self harm?"

"No!", I scoffed. "I'd never do that..."

"Have you ever had thoughts of hurting yourself or others?"

"No. But I have thoughts of myself getting hurt."

"By what exactly?"

"Water. Drowning..."

"I understand. Do you have any close friends?"

"Yea..."

"Alright, I'm gonna run this by your doctor okay? He'll most likely recommend psychiatric therapy and quite a few medications depending on further questioning."

"Like...a lot of medications? Is that bad? Am I crazy or something?"

"Far from it, Kid.", he smiled reassuringly. "We're currently trying to understand what's wrong with your lungs. Though, I'm starting to think it has more to do with your brain malfunctioning, which causes the lungs to shut down temporarily."

"Brain malfunctioning?...that sounds dangerous...."

"It can be very dangerous, depending on the mental disorder. But this is...something I haven't really seen before so there's not much of a way I can be sure."

"I don't follow....am I sick?"

"No. But I think your brain is having a lot of trouble recovering from a traumatic experience. I want you to take it easy on the thinking okay?"

"Take it easy? How am I supposed to do that?"

"Right now, I can already see a change in your behavior, though that could be from the drugs you've been given. Think of things that make you feel relaxed, or better yet, try to sleep."

"I can try..."

"I'll be back soon to check on you."

He left after making sure I had no more questions.

But I began to worry.

He eased it all in gently but for some reason, that all sounded awful.

"Hyun?", I heard a gentle knock on the door and looked up from my lap, seeing my sister standing there with a smile. "Dad went to go get a few things for you since you'll be here a while."

"That man made me feel like I'm dying."

She stepped in and walked over to me.

"Well...I hope everything will be okay."

"You hope. But you don't know for sure."

"Nobody ever knows.", she shrugged. "So hope's all we've got."

I sighed.

"Do you want anything specific?", she asked, grabbing my hand.

"You can't bring Natsuko here so no, I don't."

"You want to see Natsuko? That can be arranged you know...she's on the second floor."

"Wait what?", I squeezed her hand and shot up. "She's here?"

"Yea, she didn't say why. I saw her walking around though, she's got an IV."

"You didn't tell me?"

"You weren't awake yet. And I don't think she wanted you to know she was here anyway."

"Can you talk to her for me? And ask if she can come down here? I don't think I'm allowed to walk around..."

"You're not.", she smiled gently, running her thumb across the back of my palm. "But I'll see if she can. I bet she'd be happy to come make sure you're not dead."

"Thanks..."

"Id never keep you away form your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend....", I muttered.

"I saw her name in your phone. I know you like her, it's official now that there's a heart beside her name."

"Whatever.", I laid back down and sighed.

"For real though, I'm glad you've met someone you care about"

"Yea whatever."