My Journey

Chapter 2With Parents

Indeed, it is difficult to share your life experiences with everyone. This thought of sharing my life experiences with everyone was a nightmare. Questions raised within myself, will I be able to put through the message I want to. I was ready to share but did not have an understanding of how to go about doing it.

My passion to inspire and transform a life grew stronger day by day. This was not personal anymore, few questions that rang in my mind; looking back from where I started my life in every aspect, how did I achieve my goals, did I live my life, did I love to the intensity I wanted, was there a purpose and did I matter?

When the time comes to slide in my coffin, will I go in their empty, have I fully used my knowledge skills or have I transformed any life, will I be missed?

So my attitude became:

"What I did not do then, someone can do it now."

"If I did it, so could you."

I come from a family of 8 members; I have three brothers and two sisters. Mum was a domestic worker and later worked in a garment factory as a machinist and dad used to work as an account's person in various companies.

Cooking was entrusted to me at the age of 12 when I was in class 6. I got up early in the morning with my sister Renu, we had turns cooking roti and curry.

Being in a typical Indian family, roti and curry were what we knew as breakfast.

In the afternoons, when we arrived home from school, I prepared tea and bread for ourselves. I sat my five siblings at the table and gave them tea and bread. Later, I cooked dinner before, mum arrived home from work.

While at school, I had been a leadership role (Prefect or being given responsibilities by the teachers) and at home, it was my responsibility to ensure my sibling is fed and cared for till mum and dad come home.

So, my leadership quality started at school and at home. I was nurtured by teachers and a great mentor my mum. Leadership quality was very significant and visible, even without titles at a very early age.

We had lots of fun in our childhood, thank god, devices were very minimum or none. At times, I got carried away with playing with my siblings, that I forgot to cook. When mum arrived home and found there was no food, she got very angry and beat me for not cooking. Those beatings left its bruises of its own on my body and heart. My instant thought was that she loved me lesser than others.

Today, I do realize why she got angry when food was not ready. As I am a working mum, at times we do not eat at work due to various reasons and when we arrive at home, we are already hungry and mentally drained. In these circumstances, that aggressive behavior is likely.

However, when at times the above repeats with me, the flashback of the past episodes comes Infront of my eyes hence I calm myself down. I believe, there is a tendency to forget, it is not a deliberate act but an innocent miss. I have not beaten my loved ones for food.

My youngest brother is 10 years younger than me; my responsibility was to take care of him, bathed him, put him into school uniform and fed him with breakfast and carried him in my arms to school.

When he was in class 2, he started to feel shy that I was carrying him to school, he said to me one day, I can walk to school.

My Dad is a very honest, sincere and straightforward person. Not many people understand him, for me, he is a super dad, I have inherited his values of life, he and I are both Virgos. That is where my determination comes from. He is a quiet and collective person.