Open Heart: Second Year {On Halt}

Chapter 11- What to keep buried?

There were always different sides when it came upon disclosing the results. From a doctor's perceptive, my view was not to be judgmental regarding a patient's life. Whatever they did which led to this situation might add a forcible deployment of advice but I would never trash talk about their lives. On the other hand, when the imparting was made to the immediate family, the first thing which rose in their mind was either to blame themselves or the patient. I couldn't help them upon their decisions but I could try my best to sooth down the reactions.

Lamar's case wasn't just about the illness. It was about his psych as well. The way he had started a life with his wife could be taken as a fresh start. A new chapter. A better decision made in order to remove something which bugged him before. Perhaps...he was afraid to show his past or perhaps he was ashamed of it. But whatever it was, he kept it buried from his wife and now decades later—it came out as a serious threat.

Lamar wasn't just having loss of his commute vision; his memory loss was also persistent but that loss wasn't actually a mishap—it was more of recalling these fragments which he had buried deep within his consciousness. The illness was related to the central nervous system and had begun to spread to his encephalon. Hence, after a tensed discussion with Ethan, Lamar was rendered unconscious. 

I did a lumbar puncture on him to collect the cerebrospinal fluid.

The procedure involved inserting a needle in the spinal canal to collect the CSF for diagnosing diseases associated with CNS including brain and spine. The hitch I was having was proved true after lab testing but all I could do was think about the ways to unveil the news to Liz.

"You were right, Charlotte." Ethan consented.

"This was the oddity." I quietly said, "I guess what you don't know can still hurt you..."

A dark look flickered on his eyes and his jaw tightened, "The past never stays buried forever."

I riveted at him. And he unflinchingly stared back.

Seconds later, scorning away the scintillating intensity, I shrugged. "Let's go find Liz then."

While walking towards the waiting room, the weight of Ethan's words echoed inside my mind. But then I frowned. Was it even wise to keep turning the topic back to him every time while I was on duty?

Who knows?

Liz was sitting alone in the large room. There were other families who waited for the news regarding their loved ones but Liz...she was simply just a lone soul, hunched in a corner. Her face was ashen and her eyes were reddened with tears. I felt sorry for her. Not only she had to witness her husband trying to plummet himself to death but also the episode he showed about the people he once knew and she didn't. I was still trying to frame the words, to make sure that Liz actually understood that there was nothing wrong with her or Lamar—or them altogether. Things just...happened and they couldn't be changed.

This was also my first case which was related to cerebral atrophy concerning a microbe.

Seeing both of us approaching from the door, Liz stood up.

"Do you have any answers for me? Please..."

Ethan stepped forward and spoke in a gentle but modulated voice, "We looked up to Lamar's Green Corps record. Some of his colleagues there were named Alex, Tommy and Fiona. But before we lead you towards the problem here..." he held her gaze, "I want you to understand that you have to remember it's your husband."

Her lips quivered, "What?"

I joined in, "Mrs. Stevenson, this isn't a reflection of who Lamar is, or how much he loves you." I sighed, "After doing V.D.R.L testing, we confirmed that Lamar has tertiary syphilis."