Open Heart: Second Year {On Halt}

Chapter 12- Words of Brilliance

For the next forty-eight hours, I kept my mouth shut.

Today was my day off but it felt unwise to me. I just had a two-month long vacation and another holiday was misgiving to my deal. Of course, I got tired. I got angry and frustrated over cases. I sometimes wanted to tear my hair out while running rounds but at least it was keeping me alive, focussed. And when I came back home, I felt that I have done something. I slept peacefully knowing that I contributed to the perpetual energy system of this universe.

While during resting phase, energy still was built in potential form—I would rather chose the side of kinetic. Which was why, it was 7am in the morning and albeit my friends still snored in their rooms, I had showered and read three journals before carrying few more with me as I ventured out to a nearby cafeteria for breakfast.

I had left my hair open to dry up naturally but the morning weather immediately attacked me with chilly gush. The cafeteria was three blocks away, and while there were others which were nearby to the apartment, I liked this one since we frequented it. Plus it gave me a chance to stretch my legs, a freedom from my heels.

The sky wasn't basking organe or blue, rather it was a sluggish gray and for a moment I blinked, wishing for snow. Which was a ridiculous thought, of course because temperature was rising every day, not the other way around and I ought to be satisfied with the snow I had for Christmas. But the sky did not stop people from migrating out—joggers returning from their walk, tediously eager folks milling away for their jobs- totally obvious of their monotonous lifestyles, and shops which were starting to open, again another monotonous scene stamped on the eyes for daily basis. At least my job was intriguing. At least my job interested me, fuelled my passion within and kept me going deeper into our bodies to discover peculiar aspects of modern medicine. At least my job...was mine.

Inside the cafeteria, patrons hurriedly gobbled their breakfast to satisfy their body only while mind pondering upon their jobs. Every damn thing was about money. I mean I couldn't peek outside my window without seeing an advertisement for Apollo's sake! Tear every corner and you shall hear the song of capitalism, etched in our constitution, forced into our brains and reflected day by day. And this was one of the reasons Edenbrook was in trouble today. Because our country was so keen on tidying up budget expenditure for the military that it couldn't bother itself for hospitals and medical institutions. That it couldn't bother for the sector which engaged in saving lives—the citizens of the nation. But no, we would war. On our soil and beyond. And spend trillions upon it. Perhaps more.

What good is that doing besides from offering jobs and body bags at the same time?

I ordered a Berry Quinoa Salad-red quinoa with strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, almonds, herbs, and a simple citrus dressing along with a Coca-cola raspberry. Food arrived fifteen minutes later but my mind was still reeling back to the fact that I chose...to be unbiased upon my decision.

Our emotions always undoubtedly played huge roles in directing our relationships. Our capacity of feeling and making decisions based on emotional understanding ruled possibilities of incoherent choices in daily basis. But due to these, we are bound to have biases and preferences between the circles we have. In my case, I was regretting that I kept quiet to my friends—kept about the sudden impending doom of hospital upon our heads and choose Ethan's promise to be silent.

While it bugged me, Ethan was right here...I was experiencing love and friendship, both first-hand and at the same time, and I really never wanted to have a preferential choice. But I must always have the capability to choose the decision which would be beneficial. I trusted my friends, but I have no faith on their lips. I would swear them secrecy and they next day, everything would spread like wildfire around Edenbrook. I trusted my friends—but I couldn't speak for every doctor who worked here. Oath was same for everyone. We knelt mentally and bounded ourselves to never break it...but the world's working wasn't based on emotions. It never cared how faithful we were to our jobs, our sincerity to work and our adamant desire to save lives. It never cared what we did and how many souls we protected every day. And for all lords, it didn't absolutely care that I was raining a downpour of thoughts instead of enjoying an amazing lavish breakfast with cola. The world went on. Kept on going, unbothered, unchecked. Unhindered by a single soul or a single hospital.