Sidnaaz- The Emotional Saga 2 (Completed)

Alone Without Each Other Again.

    Sid left the bedroom came to the hall. He was searching for his bag. He has to leave now. He feared he may go inside and finish what he had just started and may regret it all his life. Sana came running behind him. Her love for him and a desire which was burning made her do something which she would never have done. She took him by his arms and made him face her.
Sana: Siddharth tu kyu aise karta hai mere sath. Kya tuje mera pyaar dekhayi nhi deta. Tu kya chahta hai yaar.  Tu jab chahe aata hai.  Jab chahe chala jaata hai. Mai kya karu. Tu muje kitna bebas bana deta hai.
Sid: Tu bebas hai?? Aur mai kya hu. Tu bol deti hai to tuje lagta hai sirf tu he karti hai. Muje bolne ke aadat nhi to maine kuch nhi kiya?? Mere leye  tu he tadapti hai?? Tuje kya pata mai kis aag me jalta hu. Tuje lagta hai tune he pura saal taklif uthayi hai?? Maine nhi?? Fir to tu muje jaanti he nhi.
Sana: Tuje farak  pada mere zindagi se jaane ka?? Tu muje pyar he nhi karta na isleye apni zindagi se nikaal fika. Fir tuje kya problem hue??
Sid: (laughing loudly) Sahi kaha tune. Chal thek hai. Chalta hu mai
Sana: Nahi ruk na baat kar ab.
Sid: Nahi chal thek hai. Tuhi sahi hai. Mai na... chod
Sana: Teri marzi hogi to baat karega na hogi to nhi karega. Yeh tera hamesha ka hai
Sid :  Mai kya karu yaar. Sana tu samjti kyu nhi. Yeh sab thek nhi hai. Mai tere leye thek nhi hu.
   Sid took her by her arms angrily and she cried in pain. He relised her immediately.  Sid has pressed her injured hand in frustration.  She was in so much pain that there were tears in her eyes. He made her sit on the chair. Gave her water. 
Sid: Sorry sorry baby. I'm so sorry. Muje yaad he nahi raha. Sorry sweetheart.
    Sana was crying now with pain of her hand and heart. She started sobbing like a baby.  Sid was worried for her. He has caused her pain.again. What should he do to erase it. He took her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. She wa hugging to his t-shirt and Sid was coaxing her like a baby. He was regretting his action even if it was done unintentionally.  He laid her on the bed and lay beside her
Sid: Baby I'm sorry. Bol na mai kya karu tera pain kam karneke leye. Please meri jaan aise ro mat. Muje bahot bura lag raha hai. Hum doctor ke paas chale.  Yaha koi doctor milega.
    Sana was sobbing in hugging him tightly more from the pain of her heart now. She shook her head.
Sana: Siddharth mere purse me meri medicine hai. Dega kya
Sid: Kyu nhi meri jaan. Kaha hai tera purse??
Sana: Us cupboard me
   Sid went to the cupboard and removed her purse. There was box of medicine with prescription inside. He removed a pain killer and gave it to her. She swallowed the medicine with water. She had calmed a bit now. She  laid on her pillow.  He came beside her taking her in his arms, putting her head on his shoulder. A soft moan left her mouth with desire.
Sid: Kya hua jaan abhi bhi pain ho raha hai?? Muje maaf karde baby. Mai  tuje bahot hurt karta hu na. Kya karu yaar pyar bhi to tuje utna karta hu. Usse kahi zyaada.
    She suddenly rose her head to look  at him. She was stunned.  She just couldn't believe he said that. This was the first time he had said it. Ever. These were the words she would have  given her life to hear. And he had said it.
Sid: Kyu dekh rahi hai aise?? Kya?? Sirf tu he pyar kar sakti hai?? Kyuki mai bolta nhi tuje lagta mai nhi karta. Agar na karta to yaha aata kya?? Bahot pyar karta hu yaar tujse mai. Bahot tadpa hu tere leye.  Isleye dur rehta hu tujse. Kahi tuje bhi barbaad na kardu.
    He looked at her, she was fast asleep in his arms a smile on her face. Medicine has done the trick. He took a deep breath.  So he had said what she wanted to hear. Which he has sworn he will never say. But his love for her was so abundant he couldn't carry it without spilling the beans. Now what?? he thought. Where will this take them. She has a long way to go. He was afraid she may lose focus again if they come together. How can he let her enter his life??He loved her more than himself but his past relationship were all disastrous.  He cannot let this to happened to her. He has already taken away her smile. He didn't wanted to take away the belief in love which she may find in someone else after she moves on. The thought of her with someone else set his body on fire. Will she ever fit so perfectly in someone's arms as she fits in mine he thought. He closed his eyes not wanting to bring such imagination which was giving him pain. He had dozed off. She shifted in his arms. He woke up with a jerk.
Sid: Kya hua baby?? Tu thek hai na. Abhi bhi dard ho raha hai kya??
Sana : Nahi thek hu.
Sid: Tu kuch khayegi?? Kuch order kar du??
Sana: Nahi muje kuch nhi chahiye.
Sid: Kya hua? Bol na??
Sana: Chal bahar hall me chal ke baat karte hai.
   Sana knew she will not be able to talk if he is so close to her. Her desire for him was so strong she was ready to put all cautions to wind and kiss him till he gives in. But she didn't want to beg now. She will have to put her dignity and self respect first now.
She got up from the bed and walked to the hall. He followed. He had a lot going on in his mind. He felt he would burst out of frustration. Sana sat on the chair of the dining table and sid on the opposite side facing each other. Far away from each other.
Sana: Tu kuch bolna chahta hai mujse??
Sid: Sana mai kya boli...
Sana: Thek hai fir tu jaa. Agar tuje kuch bolna nhi hai na Siddharth to tu jaa. Bahot ho gaya tera ab. Har baar teri marzi nhi chalegi. Tuje jo chahiye vo tu karta hai. Tuje jo pasand hai jo tera mann hai vaise tuje rehna hai. Mera kya?? Tune ek baar bhi soocha yeh sab se mere dil ka kya haal hota hoga. Mai thak gayi hu yaar.
   Sid was holding his head in his hands. Tears were flowing from his eyes.  Sana saw him crying. She was  about to get up and go to him. But he held his hand indicating her to stop
Sid: Vahi baiti reh. Nahi to hum firse baat nhi kar sakenge. Ha mai tujse bahot pyaar karta hua. Tu sooch bhi nhi sakti utna. Par mai tuje apne life me wapas nhi aane de sakta. Tu jab bhi mere karib aati hai to khud ko bhul jaati hai. Aur mai tuje khud ko bulne kaise de sakta hu. Aur dusri baat yeh hai ke mere past me mere relationship jo bhi the vo bahot gandi tarah se khatam hue hai aur dekh ab tu mujse pyar karti hai aur tu kitne pain me hai. Vo ladki kahi gum ho gayi hai jo bahot hasti thi, bina wajah bakbak karti the, Kitni masti karti the. Tu kho gayi hai baby. Mat kar aise. Mat kharaab kar apni life mere peeche.
   Sana was listening to him. Enough was enough now. She was not going to go begging for his love all the time. If he loved her he should have trusted  her. But he didn't trust her at all. This will be the end of their relationship. She will end it this time.
Saba: Siddharth tu sahi bol raha hai. Tune samjaya aur mai samaj gayi. Please iske baad kuch bhi ho jaaye mere life me wapas mat aana. Hum dur he acchi hai. Tu jaa ab. Teri life tera wait kar rahi hai. Khus reh apne life me. Bye. Aur jaate hu door band kar lena.
    Saying that she went to her bedroom her head held high. Her heart was broken and so was she. But she promised she will not show it to anyone not even herself.
   Sid left for Mumbai broken but still intact. The decision was made and it will be followed.