Chapter 12

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Nessa

I wake up feeling so confused, embarrassed and very hungover.

What is wrong with me? I tell Harry we can only be friends, then I kiss him. I feel I should apologize but I am ashamed of my behaviour and not sure what to do.
Last night started as the most amazing night and ended with Harry telling me he can't just be my friend. And the worst part is I want him to be more. But I am to scared and I can't stop thinking that he is Harry fucking Styles and we just wouldn't work. I don't think I can have my heart broken again.

I am debating whether I should message and apologize when he texts me:


From Harry: Hi Nessa. I am having a "Going Back to LA Party" for Mitch and the band on Saturday. Bring Letty and the guys. Hope you can join. My assistant will send you the details. H x

My heart skips a beat. He is acting like nothing happened last night, am I overreacting? I debate whether I should reply but I know I will and that I will end up going to the party because I can't seem to stay away from him. I also I need to apologize

To Harry: Hey. We will be there. Any chance you want to grab a coffee sometime today? I'm thinking Nude Coffee at Spitalfields Market?

From Harry: Cool. Meet you there around midday.

After a strong cup of coffee and a shower, I get ready, choosing a yellow and black checked high waisted miniskirt, black polo neck, a chunky black cardigan, black tights and lace up boots. I slip a black baker boy hat on my head at the last minute and head out the door, I hope I look better than I feel due to the hangover and nerves.

 I slip a black baker boy hat on my head at the last minute and head out the door, I hope I look better than I feel due to the hangover and nerves

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It's a short walk to Spitalfields Market, and I go over in my head what I am going to say to Harry.

I arrive at the coffee shop and as I walk through glass door into the sun filled room, I see Harry standing next to the counter talking to a small group of teenagers. He is smiling and laughing, signing a few autographs and it's the first time I have watched him interact with fans. I can see how much they mean to him.

As I watch him, his eyes meet mine, he smiles and he tells the fans he has to go. I notice a couple of them turn around and follow his gaze which has fallen on me, and I can see they are wondering who I am and why Harry would ever be meeting me.

As he walks towards me carrying a tray with two steaming cups of coffee and a slice of chocolate cake, I can't help but feel butterflies in my stomach-he is wearing brown high waisted tailored pants held up by suspenders, a retro brown and blue striped top, a blue and white tartan coat and white vans. His hair is getting longer and his curls are pushed back by black sunglasses perched on his head.

 His hair is getting longer and his curls are pushed back by black sunglasses perched on his head

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He smiles, I think my heart just about stops.

"Hey Ness" he says and leans down to give me a kiss on the cheek. "I hope you don't mind but I ordered already, the cake was calling my name".

We find a table in the back and I notice Harry chooses to sit with his back to the café, to ensure us some privacy. We sit down and as I nervously stir my coffee, I decide to jump in.

"Harry, I am so sorry about last night. I don't know what I am doing and I shouldn't send you mixed signals".

He looks surprised but he grabs my knee under the table and briefly squeezes it before letting go "Ness, don't apologize. I know I was pretty tipsy last night but I meant what I said. I'm not sure what this is between us and obviously I would like to find out, but I know you have been hurt and aren't ready for us. So right now, let's just be friends".

I think about what he has just said, "I don't know Harry, I feel like I am just complicating your life and ........."

But he interjects before I can finish "I'm a big boy Nessa and I love hanging out with you. Who else lets me tattoo them"?

He then nearly destroys me with a huge dimple bearing smile which let's face it I can't resist.

I roll my eyes and grab a fork and take a huge chunk out of the chocolate icing before popping it in my mouth, giving him a smug smile.

Harry feigns shock and dramatically clasps his chest "The icings the best part, how dare you! I am starting to rethink this whole friendship thing".

Surprisingly enough things seem to have returned to a friendlier place, and we slip back into relaxed conversation and some banter over who can eat the most cake.

We finish our coffee and stand up. Harry slips on his sunglasses, I guess to try bring him some anonymity, but he is so startlingly different and beautiful, their is no way a pair of glasses will do anything.

"Do you want to hang out a bit and browse the market and shops" he asks.

I'm kind of surprised he is suggesting such a public space.

"Is that OK? You won't get recognized and hassled?" I ask.

"Maybe, but it isn't too busy and Il try stay under the radar" he replies.

We leave the coffee shop and head into the cavernous old market hall. We walk from stall to stall browsing and chatting, occasionally Harry gets recognized but people are generally pretty respectful and he doesn't seem to mind taking a selfie or two.

 We walk from stall to stall browsing and chatting, occasionally Harry gets recognized but people are generally pretty respectful and he doesn't seem to mind taking a selfie or two

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We walk over to a stall selling vintage clothes and I pick up a beautiful silk scarf with a floral print. I try it on and it is really gorgeous but I realize its ridiculously expensive and put it back. We are just leaving the stall, when Harry's phone rings, he checks who it is and says it his manager so he better take it. I indicate I am going to carry on browsing while he nods and walks away to take the call.

I'm about to take a look at vintage t-shirt stall, when I hear a familiar voice call my name. I freeze and my heart drops to the floor before I slowly turn around. Standing in front of me is my ex Oliver and my former best friend Emma.

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