Black Ink [Harry Styles]

Chapter 39

Harry

I stand on the patio gazing out over the smog ridden city, sipping my coffee, waiting for the caffeine to makes its way through my veins. Its spring in Los Angeles, so although it's not hot, the sun is out and it's a nice day. 

I haven't seen Nessa in six weeks and I cannot get her off my mind; the sound of her laugh, her voice, her fiery red hair and the black ink coating her body like lace. I miss making love to, and sometimes fucking her. I crave her body and mind like a drug. 

I have tried to respect her and leave her alone; I have no idea how or where Nessa Black is. But I haven't given up on us and I hope one day she can forgive me. I still can't believe what I did, and how fucking stupid I have been. I may have been high and waisted but it all came from bad decisions I made. 

I was going crazy in London trying to stay away from her, so eventually I took Letty's advice and came to LA just over a month ago. I figured at least in LA I wouldn't try find her, plus I knew I could keep busy writing and recording music.

I take out my phone and because Nessa has no social media of her own, I check on the Black Ink Studio Instagram page, I keep on hoping they will post some of her work or mention her. But they don't.  I am just mumbling some swear words to myself when Jeff walks out onto the patio.

"H. I hope to fuck you are in a better mood today!" he greets me loudly.

I can see Jeff is really worried about me, he is afraid to leave me by myself and constantly shows up and tries to keep me busy. He has pitched a million new business opportunities to me and dragged me to nearly as many meetings. And if he suggests we go cycling, hiking or hit the gym one more time I am going to strangle him. But despite all his efforts I cannot get my mind off the girl whose heart I broke.

"Harry, my melancholy pal. Glenne has the day off today and is meeting friends for lunch. I think we should join them; it will do you good to get out and meet people" he suggests.

I roll my eyes and reply "I really don't feel like it man. I wanted to work on a few songs anyway"

"Harry, we all know everything you are writing at the moment is depressing as fuck and that you will spend most of day typing and erasing messages to her, before giving up"

Jeff is right, I have wanted to send her a message a million times but I never actually do because I am so scared she hates me.

"I'm not taking no for an answer Harry, plus my girlfriend is dying to see you. Now go and shower and get dressed" he says forcefully.

I decide to go along with his plan to make him happy and I anyway haven't seen Glenn, his other half, in ages.

An hour later we are pulling into a small café not far from the house I am renting in the Hollywood Hills. I have thrown on some loose-fitting pants and a black and pink Hawaiian shirt. I push my sunglasses back on my head to keep my hair out of my face, it's getting longer and a lot more unruly. A couple of paparazzi have somehow found out where I am, but at least they are keeping their distance and snapping from the other side of the parking lot. 

We walk into the stylish restaurant, with its tropical theme, banana leaf wallpaper and cane furniture. Glenn is sitting on the terrace with a small group of friends, some I know, others I don't.

She does a quick round of introductions and I end up sitting between Jeff and a beautiful blond called Ingrid. She is an up-and-coming model who I met briefly at New York Fashion Week. She is really nice and it turns out recently broken up with her long-term girlfriend. We are in a similar mind set and end up chatting for ages about relationships, breakups and moving on. Jeff is chatting to other people at the table, but I notice him eavesdropping a couple of times and just shaking his head. He wanted to get me out of the house and my mind off Nessa, but I have managed to find someone who is feeling just as unhappy as me to talk to. I may have fixated on my relationship over lunch, but Jeff is right, it is good to get out of the house. 

We pay our bill and as I lean into kiss Ingrid goodbye, she whispers to me "Harry, I think my sadness comes from knowing my relationship is over, but your sadness is there because despite what happened, your relationship is far from over. I know it's none of my business, but I think you should go talk to Nessa". 

She gives me a small smile and walks away, leaving me standing in the middle of the restaurant, contemplating whether she is right.

Jeff wakes me from my reverie when he slaps me on the shoulder and says "Styles, Glenne has some errands to run, lets me and you head back to your place for a few drinks". 

The only sound is the clinking of ice in our glasses and the distant din of LA traffic. We stand leaning on the balustrade that runs around the patio, watching the sun set over LA and the city lights start to turn on.

"I heard you and Ingrid talking today H....." Jeff starts.

I interrupt and say "I'm sorry man, I know you wanted me to get out of the house and stop thinking about Nessa, and I didn't exactly do that. But Ingrid is awesome and it was good to talk to someone who understands".

Jeff smiles weakly and replies "I know. At first, I was kind of pissed but then I listened to what you were saying to her. Harry, the last month, you have had no spark man. You are just existing. I thought you would get over Nessa, over time. But now I think that maybe you aren't supposed to. Obviously, you fucked up and she thinks she hates you, but I think you should go back to London and fight for her. I know she wanted space, but maybe that isn't the answer"

I turn to Jeff and stare at him.

"That's what Ingrid said too. I dunno Jeff, Nessa hates me so much, I broke her heart so publicly"

"I know H. But you need to show her how sorry you are, how much you love her and most importantly find out what she needs from you to try again. I saw the way she looked at you Harry, the girl is head over heels in love"

I think about it, and eventually nod my head and for the first time in weeks I feel a little hopeful.

Hiiiii Everyone

Last time I updated, I did a double update, but I think a lot of readers didn't realize and  missed a chapter!  So please make sure you have read chapters 37 and 38!

And don't forget to take a look at my new story "I Carry Your Heart" and let me know which cover you like!

Thanks for the support and keep on commenting and voting!

J xx