Black Ink [Harry Styles]

Chapter 44

Harry

Nessa left a while ago, and I have been standing in my kitchen ever since, staring at the sonogram resting on the counter in front of me. This simple, small piece of paper with a blurry image has changed everything. Nessa is pregnant with twins. I am going to be a fucking father. 

I always thought I would have kids, but in a few years, not now.

Ness was trying to put on a brave front but I could see how tired she was and that her hand was shaking nervously. I wanted to tell her that it's all going to be okay, but I didn't. I just stood like a fucking idiot and let her leave. I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about a future with Nessa, of her having my children one day. But she could hardly look at me earlier and wouldn't let me touch her or even drive her home. Will she ever be able to forgive me?

She said she would give me some time to get my head around it, and at this point I have no idea what I feel and what I should do. I need to stop spiralling though, I need to talk to someone, so I pull out my phone and press call.

"Hi love" my mom answers brightly

"Hi mom" 

"Are you okay honey?"

"Not really, I just saw Nessa" I say.

"Oh Harry. What happened? Did you talk?" she asks.

"She asked to meet up and I was hoping she wanted to talk and maybe we could work on things. But mom she is pregnant, with twins, that's why she wanted to talk. She's having my babies" 

There is silence for a few minutes before my mom says "Oh sweetheart! That is huge news"

"Yeh I know"

"Well, how do you feel about it all?"

"I dunno mom. I know we weren't together very long but I had thought what it would be like to have a future and family with her one day. And I have always wanted to have kids, I just didn't think it would be for a while".

"I know Harry. But we can't always plan everything in life" she offers.

I sigh "Yeh I suppose. But it's such a fucking mess mom. She didn't say anything, but I can see how angry and upset she is with me still. She didn't want me to touch her or even drive her home. How are we supposed to do this together? She hates me and I love her. It's a disaster".

"It may seem like that now love; she is hurt and scared Harry. You need to decide what you want and show her you can be better and be there. You need to talk to Nessa".

"I know mom. And I reacted so badly, I hardly said a word and let her leave. She said she wanted to give me time to think about it, but I could see her hurt and disappointment. She is obviously stressed and has lost weight and looks exhausted" I say.

"I'm sure she is Harry, and hormonal. Pregnancy is tough and that's multiplied with twins. You need to step up Harry, in whatever capacity you can" my mom offers.

"Your right mom. I love her and she is carrying my babies. Its kind of crazy though. I'm scared" 

"I know love but I have total faith in you" she says confidently.

"Soooo, you are gonna be a grandma mom. What do you think" I say, feeling a bit better.

"It makes me feel old, but it's exciting. I thought I had a few more years but we have this love. We can do it"

I laugh and say "I know. And I'll go see her first thing tomorrow. Love you mom" and I ring off.