My Last Wish

I wish...

I wake up and find that I am alone in this room, strange I didn’t die. My last heart failure, I was sure I was going to die, but it didn’t happen. Is it possible that I need to do something, something like save a person, or finish something before I go...? 

I get out a piece of paper and brain storm. Things I have done, things I wish to do and thing I haven’t finished doing. After and hour, I have my bucket list, one for each. Things I have done: I have lived my life happily. Thing I wish to do: Say a proper goodbye to everyone. Thing I must do: -Blank. I don’t know what I don’t.  I can’t think about a thing, sure, I one didn’t finished my project for science, but that isn’t so necessary, but I am sure there is something. Something very obvious but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

I fall back defended, I just don’t know. I fall in a strange dream; I can see that all my family and Joe standing around a tomb. It seem that everyone is crying, even Joe, The same Joe that said to me that he was a man, and a men don't cry, well that was some time ago. He is crying silently. It looks so sad, every one of them. Then it hits me, what I need to do. I don’t want anyone to cry for me. I don’t know how, but I need to do it.

Then I wake up. The dim morning light enters from the small window. I lay there thinking about, what to do, if I try to make them hate me? I won’t cause so much pain right. I need to put it into action then.

Joe enters the room and smiles brightly at me. I don’t smile back. I just stare at him. His looks a little sad but quickly hide his feeling as fast as it came. My heart breaks a little from this. He walks towards me and sits down on the chair.

“How have you been? Did you miss me?” He asks teasingly. I prepare my face, a complete cold and blank expression.

I have learned to do this, there a lot of my “friends” that came to see me, they always asked if I was alright, with fake smiles. I knew they really didn’t like me, they only came because if they wanted to win a little space in my fathers heart, like the good friends that came to visit me. My father was a very rich person, with a lot of influence. So they only seek my family’s money and reputation, too bad that I didn’t notice this before.

“That doesn’t concern you and no, I haven’t missed you.” I was surprised at how icy and unfamiliar voice sound. His face fell immediately. It broke me to see him like this. He however composed himself. He smiled, but I could still see that sadness clouded his beautiful eyes.

“What happened?” He asks with a soft voice. “You normally wouldn’t be this cold.” He reached his hand towards me, but I slapped him away.

“You don’t know me; I was always this cold and bitter. I just felt pity for you.” I said with a bitter laugh. It really broke me; the thing I just said was left a bitter taste in my mouth and a horrible feeling in my heart.    

Joe looked stunned, like I just slapped him. Then his expression changed, he looked angry, but the most dominant expression was of grief.

“Fine, I didn’t knew then, but I would have preferred to be ignorant than watching your true self.” He said in a low voice, but it was so cold and unfamiliar voice, so different compared to the warm and teasing voice that just moment before. He stands up and walks towards the door, hands form into tight fists.

After he left, I cried. The image of him leaving was so horrible, even the idea of him not crying in my funeral couldn’t help the pain. What have I done, did I choose the right decision?

Edited* Don't expect 0 Errors, 0 error in a paragraph is like a miracle...