there's no way | ethma

Twenty Five

Emma's POV
January

Christmas break was great. Spending a few weeks in New Jersey with Ethan, his family, and my brother, it felt good to finally be able to spend more time with Ethan again.

When we got back to California, I had a lot of dance practice, because our competition season was starting.

I loved the first competition. My solos all got first in their categories, and Ethan, Grayson, Joey, and Olivia were all there to cheer me on.

The only thing about Ethan and I is that we haven't been doing as well as we were.

My stress with school and dance combined with his stress with school and the anniversary of his dad dying, made us both tense, and both of us were just having a rough time in general, neither of us being in a good enough mood to try to make each other feel better, which led to where we are in this moment—an argument. I'll tell you that it wasn't exactly the first one.

"What do you want me to do, Emma? I'm sorry that I can't tend to your wounds every two seconds." He yelled. "Don't you know how hard it is to try and fix other people? I'm not a fucking counselor. I'm a law student. Also, do you know how exhausting it is to have to reassure you all the time? You're obviously not even healed from everything that Luke did to you, so maybe you should think about that before you get mad at me." He continued. I was already crying at this point.

"Ethan—"

"No, Emma. I love you, but I can't carry on like this if you don't even love yourself first. You need to love yourself, or else I can't give you a healthy relationship. It just doesn't work that way."

I sniffled. "I think you should go." I whispered.

"Yeah." He responded, his voice softer, but still a bit angry. "I should. Let me know when you can handle someone loving you the right way. I can't do this if you're not doing it for yourself."

The door to my apartment clicked shut behind him as he walked out, and I sat on the kitchen floor, pulling my knees to my chest and sobbing.

Just because two people love each other doesn't always mean that they're right for each other, and now my heart is broken into a million different pieces.

I thought that Luke broke my heart before, but this was a whole new level.

Ethan treated me right. He was good to me. He always did what was best for me, and we had a good relationship.

I guess I was heartbroken over the fact that our relationship was what real, healthy relationships are supposed to be like. I thought we had it perfect, and now it's all gone.

I stepped out of my apartment and went straight to my car, getting in and blasting my music.

I didn't know where I was going until I got there, parked my car, and knocked on the door.

"Emma?" He said, opening the door.

"Luke, can we talk?" I asked.

-
Ethan's POV

I was fuming when I got back to my place. I knew that I broke her heart, but I did it with her best interest in mind.

I only want what's best for Emma, and I can't love her properly if she doesn't fully love herself.

When someone doesn't fully love themselves, they don't let people fully love them, and it's exhausting.

I just want her to heal from her past before we can reconsider everything.

I stormed into the kitchen, and opened the cabinet, finding some tequila we had, and pouring a couple of shots.

"Ethan, what's wrong?" Grayson asked as I started to drink.

"Emma and I broke up." I said. "There's somewhere I gotta be."

I walked out of the apartment, and headed towards campus. There was a huge party going on in one of the dorms, so I obliged.

I had a couple shots of vodka before I finally grabbed a beer, and I ended up playing some beer pong with some of the frat boys that I knew.

There was a dance floor, and enough girls to distract me from a broken heart, and I thought—why not dance with them. If my heart is broken, I can just break other people's hearts now.

If Emma and I couldn't make it, who could? It's not like relationships ever work in the end, so why should I have tried?

Anyway, the last thing I remember was going upstairs with some girl. It was all pretty much a blur after that.

-
The next morning

I woke up, and there was a girl sitting on the bed, getting dressed. I was naked. Fuck.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. What happened last night?

"Oh, you're awake." The girl smiled at me. She was from my business class. I think her name was Kristen or something.

I stared at her trying to figure out who she was, and she grinned at me.

"It's Kristina."

"Okay, um Kristina, do you remember what happened last night?"

She smiled even wider. "You hit it from the back."

I put my forehead into the palm of my hand. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck." I muttered. "Emma never let me do that."

The girl stood up, and put her hands on her hips.

"Let me offer you this, I'll let you do whatever you want to me whenever you want. You can do everything that your so-called Emma didn't let you do."

"What are you trying to get out of this, Kristina?"

She smiled. "Good sex. I already have everything else I could ever need. My dad is a state representative for California, and we have more money than we get use out of. I just want to feel good on a consistent basis."

Well, I didn't have anything to lose since Emma was already out of the picture for now.

"Fine, but it has to be no strings attached."

Kristina smiled as she shook my hand. "That's exactly what I was looking for."