The Adam Boy

CHAPTER 4 - THE E-MAIL

When I arrived from the beach, I started to behave that I had been worried about. The twelve months were the most learned and evolved. But it was the doubt that led me to take courage and narrate everything here. Is this evolution being good or bad? Positive for me or negative for others? Did I go the right way or did I go astray and find myself lost? My God, what suspicions I have of what I have become or what I have become, and even what I can become! My intolerance was present every day. But calm, tolerance was what they said I was having. So it would be the practicality that was necessary for me to be always present? Perhaps! One of my chefs even joked, I think it was a joke, and asked if I ever took classes in journalistic tolerance: she meant social tolerance. Some friends, to be more affectionate, they said that I just say things "in the can" and without fear. So far so good. But if one day, with those words of intolerance, without fear or practice, I hurt someone? Killing someone with words is so cruel and inhuman that this idea torments me. What if I left someone injured, no matter what acquaintance, friend, family, or whoever it is? I always want to be learning, seeing, doing, evolving. I want emphasis, difference, creativity. But do we have to be bad for this? Hard? Inhuman? One day I heard from a restaurant manager that, to be good, and to do something good, we have to be a little bad. Why? For what? For who? Reader, I give you complete freedom to, as soon as you finish reading this book, and be a witness of my exploits, judge me how I think I should be judged. My job, my college, my friends, my competitors, my city, my family, my friends and an unknown society, have become aware of me in such a way that I feel a radical change in my actions. The ends were so distinct that it made me have a certain kind of balance. I have lived and live with people so different from each other, who do things so diverse, it makes me feel like a person without prejudice. Nice! But I felt that I got away from my family. That I surround myself with the practicality mentioned above that I do things that for some are not good. Losing a second of every activity I do makes me so impatient that I don't know if it's bad or efficient. I even stayed away from almost everyone I knew. The person I didn't know the names seemed to do me good. Anyway, do you know in those cartoons where on one side of a character's shoulder a little devil appears to do something, and on the other shoulder an angel talking to do the opposite? I see myself like that! Only in the place of the little angel and the little devil, on one side of my shoulder comes Growth, Success and Highlight, which supports me being tough, practical, effective, rigid with words and even ruthless with people. On the other side of my shoulder are People, My Friends, a Humanized Feeling that asks "Is it worth it?", Which says that I can even get along, but I will not do well to a fellow man. Damn it! Why then is the drug of society so divided? Why when something is good for one side, it's not the other? Why don't we live in a single agreement, where the synchrony of life would be beneficial for everyone ... For everything. I like to be creative, I like people to be creative, I like to see something new, I don't want men to go around with a halter that always sees the same thing, but that they do, discover, ask, think without harming anyone. How many people, just like me right now, every day, wonder if they should do this or that? How many girls on a Friday night spend hours wondering if they are going to the party in the red dress to make another one jealous, or are they going to wear a different color to impress the guy who is in the mood? How many children are unsure whether to eat candy to satisfy their innocent pleasure, or not to eat to avoid being beaten by their mother? How many people find themselves in doubt if a truth is spoken, even if it hurts someone, or should it be omitted, choking on not telling the truth? Can't we do things where the little angel and the little devil please? Um ... The person who said that man is the only animal that thinks, maybe he was not part of that group, because he did not think. Or maybe it's true. You will see that man is the only rational animal and that is why he is the most defective of all. Thinking makes you bad. Sometimes I look and it seems that nature, acting in its extinct form, is so much more perfect. It's so much more beautiful ... Bag.