The Adam Boy

CHAPTER 23 - THINGS THAT JUST HAPPEN TO ME

That same night I kept thinking about Norman's attitude. I still didn't know why, and I worried. I worried that that year I was stressed and nervous. I was losing patience for everything. But it was often for reasons that really deserved my impatience. One thing I know I'm a little wrong is: I get irritated by having to repeat what I just said once. If the person did not hear me, I repeat, but asking a second time makes my blood go up. Saying something twice already makes me speak with some anger, now speaking a third time is almost impossible; I lose my temper and become rude. Another thing that raised my blood was dialogues on my cell phone like:

- Hello - I answered the phone.

- Hi, who is it - said on the other end of the line.

I knew that it was safe for you to ask who was speaking when someone answers the phone, but let's face it; if you called someone's cell phone, you're supposed to keep in mind that it's that person, who owns the cell phone, who will answer your cell phone.

- What phone did you call? - I started to talk already stressed.

- Sorry it was a mistake.

Mistake? Did the person not even know who he was talking to and said it was a mistake? Or was it my question that scared you?

- Okay - and I hung up without any ceremony.

- Wow, how thick you were now - the person who was next to me always spoke.

- Of course not. If you called someone's cell phone, you already know who you're talking to.

- I'm not just talking about it. I'm talking about your "Ok". You have this craze. Whenever you go off you never say goodbye. Always say "Ok" and hang up. I don't even care.

I was used to hearing that already and it really was true. Whenever I finished a subject on the phone, my last word was "Ok". When I talked to someone the first time, the person was surprised and thought that we didn't have a good conversation, that I didn't like it, and that my okay was an "enough and goodbye".

- But of course - I tried to defend myself -, if I say okay, people already have in mind that it is bye. For me one thing has already become a phone conversation. I don't know why you never get used to it.

Sometimes I tried to understand what made me walk like this; stressed and nervous easily. And what I came to the conclusion was that, I was very busy. Never before had he been so busy. It was jobs, college, courses, my necessary loneliness, my books and my room. Everything was so close together that I was pissed off and lost a minute if you want bullshit. I felt that I stopped doing a lot of good things, instead of paying attention to things that were unnecessary for me. And it seemed that, lately, many things were being unnecessary.

The next morning, I then went to the train station to go to work. I sat down on one of the old wooden benches on the platform and next to me was a woman, full breasts, thick hair, and with a light mustache, which I noticed that she had shaved once, by the thickness that was born. It was slightly squint. The fingertips were yellowish and had a strong deodorant smell.

- Oh, how long these trains take, right !? she mumbled. His voice was cavernous, like Velga's, from the Os Oblong drawings.

"Yes ... it does take time," I said with a slight smile.

It was curious. People just complained. They saw nothing on the bright side. I met a lady who told me that in her time she had to leave three hours in advance to catch a train to go to work, as the breaks were every half hour. Nowadays, I know that public transportation in São Paulo still needs to improve a lot, but a train does not take more than ten minutes to arrive. Sometimes the time we wait is only five minutes.

- Look at a good side - I said, trying to convey my philosophy of seeing the good side -, it may take time, but at least in that delay, there was time for me to come to the station and meet you. If the train had come early, you would not have met a new person today.

She looked skeptical. I thought maybe she was thinking it was a teaser.

"Big deal," she said without emotion. - Not to mention that this season is horrible. It just lives full of people.

I was already getting irritated by the fat woman's discouragement and hopelessness.

- It is a sign that people have money to travel. After all, the ticket is almost R $ 3.00, and it is no small feat. And at least they don't say that poor people do nothing.

- But the rich are all riding in a car. Just us giving ourselves badly and walking this crap.

- That's it; imagine all these people with a car on the street? If São Paulo is already in chaos with what we already have, what would it be with all this? Not to mention that the car pollutes.

- The worst is this trip. I hate. Tired more than work.

I gave up. That girl was very negative, as were many people. I know we must complain, but I saw no advantage in complaining without acting. And as I still could not act to improve the waiting time for trains, nor to give a car to each passenger to empty the station, nor to make the trip more pleasant, then the way was to see some positive side of the situation.

"Hey, it's here," I said, getting up and smiling.

"Ah, it's the new train," said the woman with the shaved mustache, without getting up. - I hate that train.

Since I started studying and had to ride a train, I heard people complaining that the trains were old and bad. Now that at the stations there were a few, but a few, new trains, was that lady complaining?

- And why don't you like it?

- He's too slow. I'll wait for the next one.

Yeah, people are really weird. That lady was complaining about the train that was taking. When one arrives, she complains and doesn't go on this one, saying that this one is slow that she was going to catch the next one ... after all, what was she thinking? That the next one she was going to take, that was going to take the same time as this one, was going to be faster and overtake what was already on the platform? Didn't she realize that this train, the slow one, was going to arrive before the next fast one? When I asked her this question, she just looked at me with open mouth and amazed face and asked:

- You are crazy?

- Me crazy? - protested - The lady who thinks that if you wait for the other train, because it is faster, it will arrive first than this one. Am I crazy?

I was standing in front of the big-breasted lady and the train was already getting full.

- You - she said without looking at me and looking to the side, as if she was already seeing if the train, old and fast according to her, was already coming - it is like everything here: strange, crazy and ugly.

- Madam - I said trying to contain all my posture -, I can be all that there. But ... I'm going to get on this train, new, slow, that you are not going to, and I'm going to get to you in the center first.

But when I went towards the train, its doors closed and I couldn't get on it. I slowly turned to the lady who, at that moment, because of her crooked eyes, I did not know whether to look at me or to the side. So, I went to sit next to you again.

- Pleasure - I tried again, already without the atmosphere of hope at the beginning -, Adam Dimitri.

"Big deal," she mumbled. - I'll forget your name in a little while ... not to mention I'll never see you again.

"What a pity," I said, looking at her as she continued to look along the tracks to see if the train arrived.

When the train arrived, she got up. It was one of the old trains. I think she got excited, because that was quick according to her. I sat there.

- Aren't you going to this one? - she asked me at the train door.

- Not! - I replied frowning - I think today is a great day to be late ... Not to mention that I don't even know where I was going anymore.

"You're crazy," she said, and went to sit on one of the benches.

- Yeah ... - I said to myself - I think I am ... And people help to make it worse.