Hurters and Healers

14

"Cee, Cee, wake up. Cecelia," Alex said.

I slowly woke up and saw him sitting up in the chair looking worried.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"You were having a nightmare. I didn't want a nurse to come in here and make you get questioned by a psychologist about your nightmares."

"I'm surprised they haven't already, but I guess for that to happen Dr. Robertson would've had to tell someone about the compounds already."

"What was your nightmare about?"

"You were the one who was stabbed instead of me but I didn't find you in time," I told him quietly.

"I almost didn't find you in time. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to get you here in time."

"What do you think would've happened if you hadn't found me?" I asked him.

"I would've killed Alan, that's for sure. Then I would have taken care of Gracie like you always did and tried to get closer to Connor. And I would have led the rebellion and made sure the compounds went away."

"Why would getting rid of the compounds be so important if I died?"

"Getting rid of the compounds is important with you alive, too. But without the compounds, you never would have had to treat Alan and he wouldn't have killed you."

"Without the compounds, we never would have met."

"We could've met at school."

"Before I went to the compound I went to a private school and so did all my siblings. Do you think your mom would have sent you to a fancy private school?"

"Probably not, but I also don't know what our social status would be without the compound. I don't have a 'before the compound' life, so I'm going to imagine that in my imaginary one we still knew each other because I don't want to imagine a world without you in my life."

"You're not the tough fighter you always act like, you know," I told him.

"Are you saying I'm not the best fighter in the compound? Because my record says otherwise."

"I'm saying that you're a big softie when you aren't putting on your tough act."

He seemed shocked that I would call him out like that.

"Do you remember when you first came to the compound and there was no one else my age so I tried to be your friend but you were scared of me?" he asked randomly.

"I was scared of everything when I first came to the compound."

"Eventually I figured that out so I thought that if I goofed around and was silly when I was by you then eventually you would see that I wasn't someone to be scared of."

"Why were you so determined to be my friend? By the time we were actually friends, there were a few other people our age."

"You seemed so out of place there so I wanted you to feel safe there, but you didn't know what it was like to feel safe so it was really difficult."

"And being forced to fight didn't help. I was terrified of getting hurt because I didn't know who I could go to."

"When I first fought you, I thought I would let you win to make you feel good, but then you turned out to be a great fighter and beat me when I was trying my hardest. Who taught you how to fight?"