Phan One - Shots

Will You Remember Me?

A/N - Goddamnit why do I always write sad endings with a character death? I'm so unorignial. Maybe I'll post a copy of this with the happy ending I was planning to have, but then the story took a twist. I guess this collection is really sad Phan one - shots. Oh well, I prefer writing sadness anyways. This could be a different prequel to "Sorry". I don't know. Enjoy!

Summary - "... because I will remember you."

Warnings - Swearing, depression, mild mentions of sex, character death

Genre - Angst/ sorrow

Word count - 1017

(Dan's PoV)

-Flashback-

        "Isn't it weird?" I heard Phil whisper, gazing up at the stars longingly. I shook my head, and turned my face to look at him. However, he didn't turn around. It was as if his eyes were glued at the navy blue night sky specked with beautiful, sparkling stars.

        "What's so weird?" I moved my eyes to stare at the grass, fiddling with it as if it were Phil's hair. I wish I could do that, but I was too much of a coward.

        "... The stars. You know that we're seeing stars of at least, like, a million years in the past, right?"

        "Yeah, so what's so weird about them?"

        "The fact that they might be dead right now when we think they're alive," Phil's eyes slightly reddened, as if he were about to cry. But he just sniffled, and put a forced smile on his face as he just kept on looking at them. I internally tipped my head to one side in confusion. But he just closed his eyes, and shifted around so that he was facing me now. I took this moment as a chance to study his gorgeous face. Raven black hair with a colour of the night sky's tint, porcelain white skin, and peachy - pink lips that are chapped because of all the lip - biting he does whenever he's nervous.

        "I love you," I blurted out. His eyes flew wide open, as I bit my lips. Fuck. I just jacked this up, didn't I? However, instead of running away, I just stayed there, inspecting his ice - blue eyes. There were no negative emotions in them, just pure happiness and... love? He managed a small smile through his shock, that much I could definitely tell. He seemed pretty happy, so I took a huge risk---

I kissed him. I just cupped his face in my hands, and pushed my lips against his. He kissed me back. That moment was the happiest moment in my life, when I moved one of my hands to his waist, holding him tight, scared that he'd run away. When he wrapped his arms around my neck, fingers fiddling with my hair.

When our love couldn't be broken by anything, not even the strongest hammer in the world, no, the universe.

-Reality-

        So how did I end up here? Sucking the face off of a hot chick, both of our faces flushed and our hair messed up. How did I end up here? Making love with a random guy I found in a strip club. How, did I, end up here? Drinking and smoking until I black out? What has my life become? I constantly fall into an existential crisis these days. It's not Phil's fault. It's not anybody's fault. It's MY fault. I was on the couch with a stranger, caressing his face. I was about to lean in when I caught Phil at the corner of my eye. I pulled away, frightened at the look of anger and sorrow in his eyes.

        "Fuck you." Phil muttered, and he stomped into his room, slamming the door behind him. When I woke from my daze, the guy's gone, and I could hear Phil sobbing and pushing stuff into his suitcase. Oh my fucking god, what had I done? The Phanfictions about this kind of stuff... I'd never thought... no, I couldn't, I had to apologize right fucking then. As cheesy and cliché as this sounds, I couldn't fucking live without him. It was either he leaves and I died, or he stayed and I lived. And I was pretty sure I wanted to keep on living, although right then I felt like killing myself for what I've done to Phil. Sweet, innocent, loving Philip. As I was about to step into his room, Phil walked out of it. I tried to grab his free arm, but I missed. As he was about to open the door leading to the outside world, Phil stopped, and turned around to face me, tears streaming down his face.

        "Will you remember me?" he paused wiping away rivers at one eye. "Because I will remember you." Phil whispered, and briskly walked out of the flat, sobs escaping here and there.

        "... Of course I will remember you... I love you, Phil." I murmured softly, and then snapped out of my trance. What was I doing? I had to at least try. So I ran out of the door, and saw Phil about to cross a street. I sprinted towards him, not caring about how I looked.

         "Phil!" I yelled, causing him to halt and spin around. But as I was about to reach him, a car zoomed by, and a loud screech followed.

Thump. Phil, Phil, no, nononononono. He can't be dead. I couldn't have killed him. No, Phil. Phil, come back. Phil, Phil, Phil! Wake up!

His face flashed in my mind. His pale blue eyes that showed shock when he saw me chasing after him. His snow white skin that glowed in the sunlight. His beautiful black hair that was messy in the morning. His tongue that poked out of his mouth when he laughed too hard. His amazing personality that made most of him. Him. Just him. I leaned over him, looking at his pale face. His eyes still wide open, his eyes vacant. And with a violent shake, I broke down, right then and there.

Phil was gone.

And it was my fault.

All. My. Fucking. Fault.