Redemption

Chapter IX

Safiye never said that she loved Renato again, not because she didn't wish to, but because the circumstances of the night she did were special, and she wasn't expecting an answer from him. Therefore not wishing to pressure him or place themselves in an uncomfortable situation where he couldn't answer back, she limited herself to express her love for him taking care of him as a traditional wife would, and for a moment she even forgot her age and her role in life until Mel remained her.

The day prior to the summer solstice, Renato and Safiye decided to skip their time in the park and return home to sit together on the hammock in the backyard. He embraced her from behind as she used his chest as a bed, as he kept his left foot out of the hammock to gently push each other. She pressed his arms against her torso, and he hugged her harder, "You know, I hate how I can't see your face, but I love how it feels to be trap in your arms" Safiye broke the silence, looking over her shoulder as best as she could to have a glimpse at Renato's smile, "I really like it too," He said, digging his nose against her hair taking in its scent.

His skin became aware of every touch, from the gentle caress of the wind, to Safiye's weight raising and falling with his breathing. He was about to fall asleep when Safiye's phone notified the entry of a message. She apologized for not leaving it inside the house before she sat taking her back away from his chest and exposing the void she was filling. He stopped the rocking motion and sat next to her. By her smile he knew that it wasn't anything bad, but he still had an uncomfortable feeling, that warned him something he couldn't comprehend, since he was used to following any instinct except the ones of his heart. "It's just Mel" She said, quickly answering back to her, "She invited me to this new private art exhibition tomorrow, says she misses hanging out with me, so she got tickets for the both of us" She said with the innocent enthusiasm of a kid, "What did you say?" He asked, even though he could read the answer on her face, "I said yes, of course I want to see her again, she was pretty cool on the last days of the semester." She answered, dropping her smile when looking from her phone to Renato's serious face, wrongly interpreting it with anger instead of concern.

"Are you upset?" She asked. He shook his head, and looked away from her to the ground, not knowing how to communicate his concern and warn her of the risk she would be exposing herself to, since she didn't even know the existence of Billy and the danger he represented for her life. "I prefer if you don't go" He said, "Why not?" She questioned with sadness, "It would be dangerous if you return by yourself. Especially if you return walking like you are used to do" He explained, and she smiled one more time realizing it wasn't anger, and interpreting his concern as over protectiveness because of love. "Don't worry, she'll give me the ride to the museum and back home," Safiye said before adding "I promise to be with Mel all the time, I'll be fine," She said, leaning over to give him a kiss.

He softened the expression on his face, and surrendering he smiled and nodded his head. They laid again on the hammock, but Safiye turned around to place the right side of her face over his chest, and joked about his heart beating fast, "Do you still get butterflies around me?" She said, and he forced a smile, in other circumstances he would have answered how she always gave him butterflies and how much he loved to give her butterflies, just so he could see her cheeks getting dark red with the rest of her face, because of her permanent innocence. But it was a good memory that never took place, because the fast beating of his heart was terror, something he forgot how it felt after the age of twelve.

They walked back inside the house at his petition right after sunset. Safiye noticed the change in atmosphere, therefore even though she wished to stay with him to look at the stars, she nodded her head and allowed him direct her home by taking her hand. Once inside they had dinner, instead of skipping it like they sometimes did. Renato, who usually ate fast to get it over with, ate even slower than Safiye, since his mind couldn't focus properly. Not only he felt fear one more time, after many years, but he felt it for someone beyond himself, and the thought of her promise didn't bring him the peace he was hoping for. Going to bed with her, she fell asleep next to him holding his hand. Until early morning, Renato laid awake brushing his thumb over her hand, thinking of the right words to manipulate her to stay, to break her growing friendship with Mel, just like he did with Coy. But nothing crossed his mind. It was around three o'clock, when he was able to achieve some sleep, by pressing her back against his chest, waking her up for a few seconds, where she took his hand and kissed it before falling asleep together.