09/08/2018
11:49 PM
A thank you letter:
I was straight dumbfounded to learn from you that the saddest response was not 'goodbye' or 'I'm sorry I can't stay' or 'I can't keep up with you'—it was: 'I'm not sure if I could come back so...'
A melodramatic conjunction to end a modicum of expression that burns and destroys;
love burns and destroys
But it's the same love responsible for rebirth
It's easy to find yourself in a situation and make impulsion if you haven't experienced it beforehand
A speeding bullet that had lost its target you did not find where it flew past
And you would not know if it's headed towards you
But you know the pain
You know it doesn't wear off after a month's worth of Marlboro's or three-night-binged anime series
You taught me that pain won't detach itself by denigrating force or by gentle wait-for-its
It's a consensus of hearts
An agreement to let stockpiled memories tumble and evanesce
I can't be more thankful now
You've taught me more than I signed up for
And with each compulsive tick to each question-drenched hour
It's coming down on me now:
there's no comfort in holding back regret
and no more contempt in the years to come without you
I am learning now to live as if the years I spent with you were only a small fractal of a dream unaccounted for—
A dream lost in the fluid of memory and space and dates
Swimming endlessly into oblivion until we dreamers are all consumed for good
Goodbye my Saturday girl
Thank you for helping me find happiness while the world wastes it.
YOU ARE READING
Albeit flawed,
PoetryI was basking under the sun-the waves muffle the sound of my breathing; and I bury myself with cautionary confidence in the sand and with it the memory of your four faces. How can something lethal be life-restorative?
