Please {e.k} xreader (ON HOLD)

8

TW// Marijuana
also i listened to Molly- Lil Dicky ft. Brendon Urie while writing this just in case you want feels.

In all honesty, you missed Eddie in a way. The love of your teenage years taken away because of the puppy love that grew from trauma. Traumatic experiences that seemed unreal to anyone, even the people involved. Forgive or forget the man who broke your heart -- take your pick. On one hand you broke up before your twenties, on the other hand he gave you trust issues beyond belief.

'Lord help me' was all you could think. Seeing Eddie was like hearing a song you haven't heard in quite some time. The aesthetic was there, seeing your ex-lover in a manner that felt nothing but sweet at first, nostalgic. Like a book, a fiction of sorts. The girl and guy break up, they meet for a hook up and end up married. That didn't seem like the case here in time but one can dream. Or not dream? You were not in the position to be crushing on your high school boyfriend when you had just found out your childhood friend was dead. Maybe an aesthetic was alive but reality was not.

Thinking about the reason you were seeing Eddie still baffled you. Bringing up the dark creature that haunted you for years until moving from Derry. You laid in your bed, in the room the Mike and the other picked for you. You were sharing a room with Beverly and you did not want her to wake up to you deep in thought. It was four AM and you had still not gone to sleep.

Eddie was grilling you about your head trying to make sure you didn't have a concussion. You felt fine but until he was drug up the stairs by Richie, he was your headache source. Richie had realized you were not in the mood for questioning so he took Eddie away, you made a mental note to thank him later.

While trying your hardest to fall asleep, you couldn't help but notice your surroundings. The bed, almost cot like, was think and hard. The sheets you were sleeping on were quite scratchy but at least the pillow was soft. Your mind would not turn off while trying to sleep, so you took in the sight of the room. The room you were in was creepy, almost like a horror movie. You were convinced that if Beverly wasn't in here you would of been scared out of your mind.

Sounds of creaking wood slipped under the crack of the door. Intrigued, you went to investigate the origin of the noise. As you peered out the door you saw what seemed to be Eddie, he looked a little distraught. "Eddie?" you asked.

"Oh hi, Y/N its me," he replied.

"What are you doing up so late. Its almost sunrise?"

"I could ask you the same thing. I couldn't sleep, I fell asleep for an hour or so but i've been tossing and turning all night. You?"

"Same here, except I got no sleep. Beverly has been sound asleep since we checked in here. Wanna smoke?" You only smoked some weed here and there; when you needed it. You had been wanting to smoke but you didn't want a whole joint. Eddie looked at you with worry, but you went into your suitcase and got your stash.

"Y/N, I don't think so. Think of how we could get hurt," Eddie's face of worry was always one you could never get over. Most of the time worry was masked into his face.

"Eddie, it's only weed. It wont kill ya. Just try it once, please," you held out the 'e' like a child. Eddie finally agreed to try it, after a little bit of reassurance that he won't die from it.

Eddie took the blunt between his fingers and gently placed his lips on the end, inhaling almost slightly. He did as you told him to do, hold it in his mouth for a few seconds. Almost immediately, the smoke was flying out of him mouth as he started a coughing fit. Eddie looked at you for help, he didn't want to seem like a total loser since he could barely handle smoke.

"How about you try it like this," you demonstrated a better way to smoke and he tried it; this time he barely coughed. "You're making some progress, Ed's."

After finishing the blunt you and Eddie were on cloud nine. Laughing, telling embarrassing stories from the past two decades. Suddenly, the conversation turned deep.

"So, did you marry the right one?" Eddie asked.

"Like did I find my soulmate?" You questioned him. You weren't expecting him to drop that hard hitting question.

"Yeah, your soulmate."

"Well, I met Kamdyn. He wasn't my soulmate though. I felt like for awhile he was but when I was in mid 30's we divorced. We just didn't work like we used to. My heart felt somewhere else, so did my head. I found more comfort being alone then I did with him."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to bring up something so dark," Eddie slouched in looking quite guilty.

"Oh, Eddie, no worries. My divorce really doesn't bother me anymore. It didn't even hurt me to end it, I just knew it was right. Anyways what about you, have you found your soulmate?"

"Myra is pretty great, she reminds me a lot of my mother though. I don't know if I would call her my soulmate. If we are being honest here, I've always thought of someone else as my soulmate."

"Who?"

"You. You fit me perfectly. I always thought that you were right for me. I always thought that you were supposed to be mine everyday; if only I hadn't fucked up when i was 17. I have regretted all I did everyday, Y/N. I've just been thinking that if I changed everything about my life for you, would you want me the way I want you? I know we aren't in love anymore but you were my first love. I'll never forget you. Apart of me will always love you, it kinda sucks though," Eddie took a quick breath, almost like he was thinking of how to continue.

"Eddie, I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, I'm not done. It sucks that I wasn't what you needed or what you wanted anymore. I wish I didn't fuck up like I did. Maybe iI would still have you, and that's the hardest part. I've almost called you over ten thousand times to tell you all of this, and I just knew it wasn't the right time. This time, it is right." Eddie ended just speech and looked up at you. His hands grasped each side of your face and stared at your eyes for a second.

Eddie exhaled and then looked at your lips, almost as if asking for permission to kiss you. You only tilted your head towards him, nudging him. In an instant his lips were connected to yours. It felt surreal to be kissing Eddie again.

You knew it was wrong, your conscience was screaming at you to stop but your body couldn't. It was like your body was finally getting the water it had been craving for twenty years.

You and Eddie disconnected your lip-lock slowly. You knew you did everything wrong, "Eddie, I have to do. I'm sorry."

PLEASE I HOPE YOU DONT HATE ME FOR THIS. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS THOUGH!! I LOVED WRITING THIS