Seoul Secrets | ATEEZ

Chapter 6

Yeosang POV

It was around 20:00pm when the door opened. We all knew who it was; the woosan duo and Dakota. I'm pretty sure we all had the same idea because we all got up in sync and ran over to them hugging Dakota. It's been ages... Nearly a year I think. She used to visit us every 2-3 months but that stopped for about a year. Hongjoong clearly had missed her... Well she is his younger sister.

We let them in and went to the living room and talked whilst Seonghwa hyung was making dinner. Late dinner I know, but we had a very busy day and didn't get back until about 19:45pm. As usual they all talked a lot... Except for me. I'm the quiet, reserved one of the group. They say I need to stop acting shy around them... But I'm not. It's just my personality. The ones that really do know me, would say that I was never the quiet one. Even to this day they don't know what made me change. If you ask them, they would tell you that I started distancing myself from them.. pushing them away, not letting them get close to me for no reason. In a way they aren't wrong. If only they knew what happened that night... Then they would understand... Then they wouldn't keep asking me what's wrong... Then they would stop worrying about me... Then they would... Leave me. I couldn't risk losing my friends. I know they would leave me if I told them. It's one thing I've kept to myself since it happened. Not even my gang mates know about it.

"Yeosang?... Yeosang-ah?... Sangie?" I suddenly hear someone calling my name, snapping me out of my trance.

"yeah?" I ask, wondering what Dakota could possibly want. She barely talks to me; the only time she does is when she wants something.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"Yeah..? Why?" I respond, being cautious.

"You sure? You zoned out and after a while started shaking" she says. By this time everyone was looking at me. Shit. Was I shaking? Fuck... I can't tell them... I need to make up an excuse.

"Yeah I'm sure. I think I just started to get a bit cold" I didn't realise there couldn't be a way of me being cold until after I said that. All the windows were closed and the heating was on. I can only hope she doesn't say anything about it.

"Yeosang... There's no possible way of you feeling cold. The heating is on" one of the members pipe up. Can't they just leave it? Why are they like this? Isn't it clear I don't want to tell them.

"Everyone is different... Some may be cold when other aren't" I explain, hoping they would leave it this time.

"Okay..? If your sure" They reply. Thank god they aren't gonna push on.

They carry on talking and I just go on my phone seeing if any more murders have occured recently other than the one yesterday. A couple minutes later Seonghwa calls us for dinner. Of course the youngsters go running into the dining room, like little children. We all eat and talk, catching up... That is until hongjoong decided to bring something up.

"How's the south side gang? They feeding and treating you well?" He questions his sister.

"They're fine... A bit pissed off at the moment.. but other than that everything is fine." She replies, making Hongjoong nod. He's such a protective brother. He would of said 'if they aren't, I will kill them' but this time he didn't which was a bit odd.

Kill... That word makes me shiver. Reminding me of what happened. I've learned to ignore the feeling of guilt I get whenever I hear that. I can't feel guilty now. I'm in a bloody gang for christ's sake. I always tell myself 'he was gonna die anyway'. It helps... Sometimes.

I suddenly have lost my appetite now.. this always happens. If I'm hungry and here the words kill or murder, I lose my appetite and suddenly not hungry. I wait patiently for everyone to finish.

- time skip -

God it took them so long to finish. A good 40-50 minutes, because they wouldn't stop talking. We are now back in the living room. Some of us playing a board game to pass the time whilst joining in parts of the conversation that aroused. Some were just playing on their phones, and some were talking. I was one of the ones in their phone. It was getting late yes, and one by one everyone started going to bed. It was like a game of pick or kill. The ones that were killed went away, and the ones that were picked stayed, just slowly one by one you kill everyone until there's just one person left.

I was one of the last ones to go to my room to sleep, dreading to fall asleep. That's nothing new though. I pretty much always dread falling asleep, scared I'm going to have that dream again. I climb into bed bracing myself for the dream, that I may have. It wasn't long before I fall asleep.

- flashback -

I'm in a dark alleyway. Only the faint glow of the streetlights light up either end of the alley. It is late at night yes, but I couldn't sleep. It's peaceful, and what made it better was that I was alone... Well so I thought. I'm walking back home and walking through here is the quickest way of getting back.

I hear something move behind me but I don't think much of. You get a lot of animals in the alley especially at night. It stops and I just carry on walking whilst listening to some music. I always forget how long this alley is. It's so long. After a while I feel like I'm being followed. I'm not normally a paranoid person, but something is telling me that I'm going to be in danger if I don't hurry up and get out of here. I try to ignore it. I look behind me and see no one. I carry on walking, but the feeling comes back. I repeat the same thing several times and I start to panic. I swear the last time I looked I saw someone hide. I feel myself shake out of fear. I decide to run.. but that was a bad idea.

I hear footsteps chasing after me and look behind and see someone running after me. I pick up my pace. It looks like he has something sharp in his hand. A knife? He must of caught up to me because I feel myself get pulled back. He grabs that sharp object and I was right, it was a knife. He tries cutting me with it but I manage to get away. He doesn't stop. I somehow manage to get ahold of that knife. He comes close to me and I....

- end of flashback -

I open my eyes and sit up in a cold sweat. I'm shaking like mad. I look to check the time. 2:48am, great. I want to go outside and go for a walk but I hold back that urge. If I go outside, I have a chance of the same thing happening... I have a chance of going on a killing spree. I can't do that. I take a deep breath in and slowly breathe out, trying to calm myself down and stop shaking. I always wake up, shaking uncontrollably whenever I have that dream. It's times like these where I'm glad I don't share a room with anyone. Some of us share a room, some of us don't.

Once I manage to calm down, I go on my phone to pass the time, knowing I won't be able to go back to sleep.

Sometimes I question if I'm just putting everyone here in danger by being around... Sometimes I think it's better for them to not have me around... Sometimes I want to leave, in fear of hurting them... But I know I can't... I can't just leave them... Not without a reason.