Seoul Secrets | ATEEZ

Chapter 20

Seonghwa POV

"Hongjoong... We got ambushed" I say down the line, out of breath and in pain.

"What!!? By who?" He clearly ain't happy.

"No... clue" i breathe out.

"Is she okay?" He asks.

I start feeling faint and dizzy. I cut the line before everything goes black.

2 hours earlier

Silence surrounded us for a while. I decide to break the silence, by asking a question. I feel like she didn't tell us the whole truth about her past.. left some bits out maybe.

"Is there something your hiding about your past?" A very straight forward question, awaiting a straight forward answer.

I receive silence. She must not be in a talking mood. I try thinking what I could say to make her talk. I rack through my mind trying to think of something and that's when a thought came up... Well more of a memory... One I don't want to remember. Her parents left her when she was young, is what she said to us... So this might make her talk.

"My parents left me too, they were murdered." I say, keeping my eyes glued to the road.

I see her look at me from the corner of my eye. She looks surprised and intrigued. Will she talk though?

"wait.. really? Why didn't you say anything about it? Why tell only part of it?... Why say this to me now?" She asks. At least she spoke.

"I'm only telling you this because I trust you." I reply, she looks so confused.

"don't you trust the others then, if they don't know?" She asks.

"We are the same age, I trust you even more." I joke, and it makes her smile.

"They wouldn't understand" I then say, after a minute of silence.

It's true though. I trust them with my life, just they wouldn't understand the pain and memory of this... Having to live with the trauma of seeing my parents die.

"What do you mean, they wouldn't understand?"

She isn't this naïve, is she? No one would properly understand, even if they tried to. I still have the trauma after many years, no one would be able to unsee and forget it.

"I'm sure you wouldn't tell anyone that you saw your parents slaughtered in front of you, would you?" I ask her.

She's silent for a while, thinking about what I just said and she agrees, "I wouldn't for sure"

Silence hits again. Fuck, it didn't work. I sigh internally. I really thought it would.

"My mother died and my father became abusive towards me and blamed me for it. He died after a couple years" she says, breaking the silence.

I'm taken aback. It actually worked. It was when she said that, I realised how alike we both are. Both of us have similar pasts. Both of us care about our gang members and would kill to protect them. Both of us can be crazy and funny, she just shows it more than me.

"Why are you telling me this?" I say, repeating the question she asked me.

"We are the same age, I trust you." She replies, making me chuckle.

"Where did you go once your father died?" I ask her.

"Orphanage, once some police officers found me. I don't know any family members. The only ones I knew was my mum and dad" she says, a hint of sadness woven into her words.

I feel bad for her. She had to go through a lot at s young age... But she also was... Lucky. At least she ended up having somewhere to go. I had no where to go, no where to call home. That was until Hongjoong and his parents found me. I was starved, beaten, sad, traumatized, scared and felt unsafe. I remember it so well. They found me and tried getting me to go with them, timid, I didn't go at first but they somehow managed to get me to go with them. Truth be told hongjoong was the one that found me and got his parents. He only found me because he heard me crying... That's it. Am I gonna tell her all this? I don't know. Should I? Can I being myself to do so?

"Ah, well at least everything is okay now" I reply, giving her a smile.

She nods and flashes me a smile back. We start joking around, having fun and getting to know each other more. Even though we were having fun, I couldn't focus properly. Not after being reminded of my past. Little details, coming back to me, images running across my vision from the incident.

"Hwa? You okay?" She suddenly asks. Shit she must of noticed.

"Yeah...?" I answer after a bit of silence. It was clear I was a bit unsure.

At this point I don't know if I am okay or not. I mean like... Look at who I have to stay with... A bunch of crazy ass people. Then you have my past that doesn't leave me alone ever. Who knows.. I could be okay or I could be numb with the feeling of sadness without realising.

"Your not. What's up? What's on your mind?" She questions me. So she can be a sweetheart?

I stay silent not knowing what to do. Do I tell her? But then will she say anything to the others? I have already told her a lot of it.. but do I tell her the rest? I feel her take my hand into hers. I feel her draw something over my hand with her finger. I recognize it as a promise sign. People only so that if they really promise something. That's how you know you can trust them. How do I know this? My parents always did this to me in the same spot she did. They mainly did it if I felt unsafe. They promised to protect me forever no matter what. They certainly did that.

"I won't tell anyone.. I promise" she then says.

I feel more comfortable and feel like I can trust her..

You sure she won't say anything to the others?

She wouldn't. She just did the promise. She wouldn't break it.

How do you know?

I push the voice away. I dont need doubt right now.

"Just thinking about what happened after my parents died." I start.

"What happened?" Her curiosity is clearly getting the best of her. Cute.

"I was left on the streets, no where to go until-" I was cut off with her opening my door, unbuckling my seatbelt and pushing me out the car.