Being Alive ( D.W)

"We Are Not Fighting"

A few days later. At the Bunker. Control room.

 I was sitting on the couch with a beer in my hand.

Dean walked over to me and sat down next to me "you okay?"

I nodded "Yeah, why?"

Dean shrugged "you seem off "

I asked surprised "you noticed?"

Dean "of course I noticed, I've always been good with women"

I shot him a look.

Dean eyed me "you look like you had hoped I wouldn't notice"

I nodded "I hoped you wouldn't"

Dean asked confused "why?"

Me "Because then you'd make me talk about it and then you'd be sad and I don't want that"

Dean "why would I be sad?"

Me "I can't tell you that because if I did then you'd be sad"

He sighed "Lena"

I took a sip of my beer "what?"

Dean shot me a look.

Me "I've been thinking about us – this relationship"

Dean asked annoyed but also kinda scared "don't tell me you wanna break up with me"

I looked at him annoyed "Dean, if I wanted to break up with you I wouldn't have let you "join" me in the shower this morning"

He smirked "yeah, that was amazing. Thanks for letting me join you, by the way"

I shot him a look.

Dean asked amused "what? Wasn't it amazing for you too, because I remember you-"

Sam walked into the control room, putting his jacket on "Dean, please, not when I'm in hearing range"

Then he walked upstairs "I'll be back tonight"

Dean nodded "okay"

Sam left.

I looked at Dean "Dean, can you please not talk about our sex life when Sam's around?"

Dean said surprised "Elena, I didn't even know he was here"

I nodded "I'm just saying. Keep talking about our sex life around others and you won't have a sexlife to talk about anymore"

His eyes widened "you wouldn't dare"

I nodded "try"

He shook his head "okay. Let's stop because I don't like the way this is going. You gonna tell me what's going on with you?"

Me "Well, you won't like this way either"

He raised an eyebrow.

Me "You know, I've thought about it before but then you got the Mark of Cain and it just solved itself but now that it's gone, i-i-"

Dean sighed, knowing exactly what I was talking about "It's about our future."

I nodded "Yes"

Then I sighed "Dean, I am immortal"

He sighed, nodding "and so was Cain"

I nodded "yeah but it's the Mark that makes you immortal, Dean"

Dean sighed "and when i got rid of it ..."

Me "it turned you mortal again"

He drove a hand through his hair "Elena-"

I sighed "Dean, I don't want to talk about it either, okay?"

Dean "then don't"

Me "but at some point we have to and you know that"

He sighed "Elena, I don't want to talk about it, okay"

Me "we have to, Dean"

Dean stood up, shaking his head "no we don't. We don't even know if we're gonna live the next week so why talk about the next years?"

He went to walk away.

I sighed "But what if we make it through the next years? Hm? Do you really wanna have this conversation again when you're 60 and I'm still 33, old enough to be your kid, Dean!"

He froze and turned to me.

Me "Dean, if you really think I'm gonna stay with you till you're old and gray – till you die of age, then you're wrong"

He shook his head "and I don't want you to"

Me "Dean, there is no way for me to become mortal again. It's just not possible"

Dean "but there are ways for me to become immortal. That's possible"

I nodded.

He sighed.

I drove a hand through my hair "if you don't wanna talk about it anymore, then its fine, but at least think about us- about our future, Dean, please"

He looked at me "is that what you think of me? That I never think about our future?"

Me "you make it look like it"

Dean ""I always think about our future, Elena, but it doesn't matter which solution I choose, it wouldn't be fair for either of us"

Me "but at some point we'd have to make a choice. Because I'll live forever –"

Dean "and you'll find love after me. You will fall in love again, you will be happy again"

Me "but without you."

Dean nodded "Well, till then I hope that you'll have to wait another 300 years to recover from my passing to find another guy"

I shook my head, kinda hurt "you think this is funny? Dean, i am trying to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend and you're seriously joking about it? are you kidding me right now?"

He sighed "baby, i didn't-"

Suddenly Sam walked back inside with two big McDonald's bags "You guys hungry?"

Dean looked at him.

I looked at Dean and sighed "I can't get anything down right now. Save something up for me"

Sam asked worried "You okay?"

I nodded "it is just times like this were I'm jealous of your single life, were you don't have to worry about shit like that"

Then I walked into my room.