So Lost Without You

Its been awhile

A/N yay update!:) and the I thought this picture was funny so I posted it. K read.

**Tess's POV**

Almost a month. It's been almost a month since Jay and I technically broke up. I've tried my hardest to stay away from him, and I've done great at it. I haven't seen him once, oh lucky me.

I'm still heart broken. Ive read his texts and listened to his voicemail, it's no use. He pulled the last string and I am still broken and he probably already moved on to someone else. I still can't believe what he did. Well what did he do? I mean I never got a story, I just assumed... No. No. Come on Tess you gotta be strong, and believe what you saw.

I won't give up, I won't back down.

I'm still just confused. I don't know what to do, I feel so lifeless. I feel like a part of me was just ripped away from me and I can't get it back. He did this to me. The boy I love.

Loved.

I did love him then he took that with him.

**Jays POV**

It's been almost a month. I'm a wreck. I've got bags under my eyes and hardly any sleep. I've written her another about how sorry I am and how much I love her.

I wonder how she is.

I doubt she's thinking about me, I bet she's moving on. She could get any guy she wants because she's perfect.

I love how clumsy she gets, I love when she falls off into sleep it's like all her worries are gone, I love when she laughs at my stupidity, I love her beautiful eyes, her flawless skin, everything.

I can't believe I lost her she was my everyt- "Jay. You need to go see her. It's been forever!" my buddy mike exclaims to me. I look at him with worried eyes he caught on quicker than I thought, " Get some sleep, take a shower and take those letters over to her house. Jenna told me she's quite the mess, like you." he looks at me with sad eyes.

"I constantly mess up though, I constantly hurt her not on purpose and I hate it so god dam.n much," I mumble.

"Get some sleep Ill be here when you wake up," mike says. He's a great dude, that's why he's my best friend. He's always there for me and he is just so wise! I don't know what to say to him so I simply reply with a nod.

I fall into a sleep that I've needed oh so much..

I wake up and see mike playing on his phone I mumble out a 'hey' and he looks up instantly.

" Finally you're up! let's go to her house okay? you don't need a shower.. it would be helpful but you need to get this done," he rambles on. I nod and slowly stand up.

We head over to her house which isn't far from mine. I hold the two letters in my hand and I nervously walk up to the door. I've never been like this. I take in a few deep breaths before I let my hand pound on the door.

**Tess's POV**

There was a knock on the door, I hoped that someone would get it.. Till I realized nobody it home. I really didn't want to get up, I wasn't presentable and I just wasn't in the mood.

I slowly got up and walked down stairs, it feels like forever when I walk down them now. I unlock the door and slowly open it to see a nervously boy that looks like a wreck..

Jay..

**Jays POV**

(A/N I think his POV it just way cuter.. now you may continue)

I was about to leave when the door slowly opened. I saw a horrible looking Tess. When she saw me her eyes grew wide then dropped to the floor.

"Why are you here Jay?" she mumbles very quietly. The way she spoke just shattered my heart into a billion pieces.

"I wanted to give you these.." I say handing her the two letters. She took them. She looks up at me and there are tears in her eyes, there are some in mine too.

Way to be a man Jay...

"D-do you want to c-come in?" she mutters out, she's fighting the tears I just know it and it breaks my heart to see I did this to her. I hurt her and its all just my fault.

How could I do this? I ruined such a innocent girl. I love her and im not going to give up.

We are sitting on her bed now no one saying anything. The silence is weird but comfortable at the same time. We are sitting close but not too close.

  I need to feel her lips against mine. But I can't because I've lost the only girl I'll ever love. She's perfect in every way possible.  Neither of us say anything just looking at nothing. I feel like I should say something but I'm lost for words. It feels like I can't speak or move. 

"You should read it. Its everything," I try to be cool but my voice comes out raspy, there's a lump in my throat and tears filling up my eyes.

She nods and tries to give me a small smile, "I'll deffinetly get to it."

With that I leave.  It still hurts so much.  God its so much pain and I hate it, I wish it'd leave me the hell alone.

**Tess' POV**

  He told me to read them. I would, I will. But right now I just can't move. I can only think and stare. I feel so confused, he came over and made no conversation, which I understand but he's usually not so easy to read.  Today it was like an open book, he was so hurt and it seemed like he wasn't completely there and that was what broke me even more. When a guy cries, it means something and it usually holds a lot more meaning than when a girl cries.

I miss him.

A/N

SO OK?!

I know it was kinda all over the place but that's life. I'm sorry I don't update much this week is finals and I've been very busy.

So I hope you enjoyed my messy chapter that kept switching from Tess and Jay's POV.

Vote if you enjoyed it, or even if you didn't. Comment nice or bad comments I really don't care. Idek if anybody reads my authors notes but oh well.

Bye♥