Sanity

FIRST LOVE NEVER WORKS

                        I was 14 when i first met him. i used to enter assembly trying to be the last one but i was always one of the last ones,but i never mined because he was there. His name's Zack. He wasn't in the same class as him but during assembly,our sitting position was right beside each other. I did not remember how we first spoke to each other but i remembered how we used to laugh at almost everything and used to get scolded by the teachers due to being too loud during reading time,but we never cared and continued talking. At that point of time it was all n and games. He had a girlfriend and i was still having feelings for Jerry. We were always really happy talking to each other. Then time moved to next year and after my one month of medical leave from school. When i came back, i found out that  he was in the same class. i was glad that i knew at least someone that i wasn't  on bad terms with. he first spoke to me at design and technology class, i was trying so hard to catch up with all the missed assignments and he came up to me and said hi, before school started i saw him with his girlfriend and i took it as I have to maintain distance, so i did.when he started talking to me in class,he seemed very nice. Just like how i remembered it.  i thought back to how much fun we had during assembly and it brought a smile to my face. 

One day he came to school and he looked really sad and so i thought i should ask his close friend, Sam. I then found out he was planning to break up with his girlfriend but something seemed off, Sam wasn't telling me the whole truth but i brushed it off. i thought since me and Zack were kinda close. i should ask him myself, i went up to him and sat beside him and asked what happened. he looked at me with sore red eyes, he has been crying the whole time. i gave him a pat on the shoulder and he just stared at me. It wasn't a casual look, there was a emotion attached to the look and i knew exactly what. i was confused. is that what  Sam did not want to tell me? i guess it was. We were waiting for class and he told me to sit beside me for the next class. Usually, we were not allowed to move to another sit as we were assigned sits due to the uncontrollable noise the class create when they were given the liberty to choose their own partner. But  today seemed to be a lucky day,our geography teacher was not coming to class,it was a replacement teacher. I agreed and that was the first time his eyes had happiness that day. 

Zack was a buff guy and he was bigger than anyone in the class. Some of the boys in thee class was always bullying him because of how plum he was. Although he doesn't show that he is hurt by it i knew he was. He was a really good person but in high school all it mattered was if you are good looking. High school was not about maturity and we all knew that. we never saw never saw each other as the same. Everything was a competition,no matter what the situation was,even eating could be a competition. It was really funny how most of us will say that we treat each other the same when the truth was we never did. It was always a "I'm better than you' situation. 

But not Zack. he was different. He was bullied for his body figure even though that was how he was build so he made it a point to never make fun of anybody s he knows it feel likes to be put down like that. That was what i liked most about him. he was a sweetheart,he was everything a high school would want in a guy. He made me smile so much. Having these thoughts made me realize that i was in love with him. 

During class, he asked me if i could make him better,i remembered his exact words, 'is it okay for me to ask for something, it will make me feel better" and i asked him " What is it" and all he did was point to his cheek, i was shock but it made me blush. Did i say my thoughts out loud? i felt like i wanted to do it but all i could think about was that i didn't want to be a rebound. although i really had feelings for him i knew that i couldn't. It was too soon so all i did was shook my head no and tapped him on his shoulder as a sign of comfort assuring him that i still cared. Lucky for me he understood. 

After a week or so,me and him was spending time together without letting anybody know. i was careful and did not want jerry to know at all.if  he knew, everything i had with Zack will be take away from me and i did not want that. he was special to me,he played a big part in my life and i did not want anything to get in the way of that.