Unidentified (Taygunoff)

Thoughts??

It's frustrating to act in front of him, but i need to move on from this feeling. I was liking him for years now but nor I got to know real reason why he is not accepting me . At first I thought it's because of my behavior but since I get to know him or should I say since I realized my feelings towards him I never let any girl come between us. I flirt around time to time but it was just to made him jealous. I never gave priority to anyone except him.

I remembered some thing that I should cleared with him. But he never asked me for it, nor he took interest. That day when I couldn't endure his ignorant behavior I just wanted to make him feel love I have for him but I understood something that tear me apart, his NO REACTION was hurtful. I felt Guilty for taking wrong step but not for KISS , which I placed on his plump lips as gently as I could.

I wanted to apologize but the next day what I saw kept me where I was. It was frustrating enough to not get any response of my messages but I never called him, he easily gets irritated when someone do over things whether it's asking questions or love. But why he wasn't bother by HER. She was clingy, she was annoying me with her that cute act. What irritate me most was His behavior, the hell with his attitude towards others and look at him now being most kind person ever. He was placing kiss on her shoulder, the way he was holding her was too much to accept.

Guy who never got close to anyone. Just because we forced to be with us, he got to know some of our friends. Now who the hell is SHE?? She just came out of nowhere now . Why?? Why?? He never told me ,he had girl. Did he think that I will snatch his girl. He never trust me from beginning. My tears just came out without realizing when i understood the real reason that he never trust me.

Asking Off about this was not option, this means that Girl. Off surely knows her since he posted wish for her. Even off knew about her, not me???

     I'm CONFUSED... I wanted to tell him so many things, I still want to... But I'm not sure .... Not anymore

I got confused when I saw feelings in his eyes...... Emotionless
When I get reaction, love or hatred when i express my feelings...
Love was not there, I didn't expect but it hurts.... I always thought that I will never able to bear if I ever get to see hate in your eyes.... I was wrong .

Those Emotionless eyes pierced through my heart.

"You don't have to tell me how you feel towards me love, hate, anger or pity, moment when I look at in your eyes they tell me even if they are EMOTIONLESS towards me"

Sounds cheesy but i used to say without knowing that Emotionless feelings I might have not able to conquer it.

Emotionless eyes TOWARDS me has started to stabbed me in heart, gave me pain everytime I'm saw you.

Sometimes you need to take break and think what you are doing... Now I'm thinking I never loved you.. Did I????

Maybe it was just attraction.... Feeling that might have been just urge of moment..

I just liked the way you smile, I just like the way you argue with me over little things, I liked the way we used to fight then again fighting over that who started the shit to begin with.

I just liked the moment when I got to see you, I just liked the your eyes which was showing how irritated you actually feeling with little things. I just liked to get hit by your tiny hands whenever I mocked you.

But... Thing what I hated most was when you smile for others ,with others, I wanted to have that smile by myself , I wanted to be reason for your smile, I wanted you to smile for me... Only me.

I was jealous of Off who was able to spend time with you in family gathering , he had reasons to talk to you. When I was deliberately making up everything I could ,to have peaceful conversation without irritating you.

I was jealous of your family... Sorry but I was. They could have spend time with you, was able to see you first thing in morning, they knew every side of you, you was depend on them and I was jealous of that too.. I wanted to you to trust me, I wanted you to depend on me.

I must be Overthinking it might be just attraction , that will fade away when I won't see you anymore.

What it is but... What I'm feeling is weird, is it because ,you was my daily habit,is it because seeing everyday was my routine.

I have decided to get away, to throw away this feeling's. No not because I gave up.Im tired.... It's just because I was never enough, my love wasn't enough... Did I even loved you?? Now I have doubt.

I think I never loved you,, yess I never did. That's why I never tried enough... That's why my feelings wasn't able to reach you..... Yess I never loved you.

A/N:I'm sorry for late update, I was not well... And I was thinking if I should continue. Hope you will able to receive what I'm trying to tell in story. Thanks for reading, votes and comments.