A Twist in Fate

T h i r t y - s e v e n

America's POV:

It had been a day after the funeral. But I still refused to believe the passing of my husband. I know it wasn't healthy, but neither was calling out his name at random times of the day, and laughing at the silly jokes that never got old. I may not have loved him the same as I did Maxon, but I was starting to grow to love him. I was learning to adjust, to smile through the rapid changes, to step in unclear situations. And his love made it all so easy. He was there with me through it all, and never made me feel left out, or the lack of affection and care.

I learned that one does not heal from grieving of a loved one.

And neither do you get used to it. The feeling of emptiness where that person's hand used to hold you, or when they jumped you from behind to hug you tight and deprive you of precious oxygen, but it was okay because the person was your oxygen.

You just smile.

I smile with hands wiping my messes because Nicholas wouldn't want that.

I smile with screams of vengeance bubbling in my throats because Nicholas wouldn't want that.

I smile with aching fingers scratching my depressing thoughts because Nicholas wouldn't want that.

That moment when I came to terms with Nicholas's death was the worst part.

It's one thing knowing that your husband is gone, but it's a whole another level to accept that he won't come back.

Regretting taking my time with Nicholas for granted won't bring him back to life. Neither will blaming myself, or drowning in grief.

I know that he will always remain in my heart, and not the past.

Earlier this morning, I had spoken with Mary, Nic's mom, about the procedure of my stepping down from the throne. When she asked about my children, I promised they would never be a threat to Italy's monarchy.

I never mentioned anything about the documents or how the twins are illegitimate. I had told not a soul. If anyone were to find out... the consequences would be dire, if not permanent.

With not a clue of how she let me off the hook so quickly, I slowly made me way toward's Maxon's jet. As I was ascending the stairs, I took a final look at the place I called home for a rather shorter time than I was prepared for, and turned away, knowing I wouldn't be coming back here again for quite some time.

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The smell of Angeles air hit my face when I stepped out of the car. It never gets old.

I looked at Maxon holding the twins in both his arms and swinging them around while they giggled. I tried and failed miserably not to stare at them in awe with a soft, genuine smile. They were getting along with him better than I hoped for. Eventually, I will have to tell them the truth. But right now, I just wanted to live in the moment. Take a deep breath and relax. No overthinking, no stressing about the future, just right now. Only right now.

When we arrived at the palace foyer, I was greeted by a very hyper Celeste and squealing Marlee.

"Americaaaa!!!"

Before I even had a chance to protest, they were at me, and one second later, a picturesque yet goofy sight of screaming, probably high on something and excited girls laid on the posh floor, greeted everyone.

I groaned in between laughing, "I knew I was going to regret wearing those heels- oomf!"

"Sorry," Celeste grinned unapologetically.

Shaking my head and narrowing my eyes, without a warning, I hastily got off the floor, resulting in another screech from the girls.

Laughing with shoulders quaking, I gave them a hand, and hugged them properly this time, squeezing all the air out of their lungs like they were doing to me.