𝕄𝕪 𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕒𝕝 𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣 / 𝕨𝕠𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕟

chapter 30

San's POV

2 days ago (the morning after killing Jackson and his father)

The night did torture me with nightmares so the next morning I felt completely worn out. I finally got an own room and Minho and Jisung congratulated me for my mission success. It was nice of them that they even came personally and asked for my well-being and of course I told them I was fine... although I didn't feel anything like that.

It made me go crazy that I didn't feel the slightest bit happy after I avenged my parents. I had thought that the rage and pain I had been feeling would fade away once I achieved my goal but it was still the same. It made me angry that I was scared to kill in the last second before it happend and I couldn't get Wooyoung out of my mind.

Although I told myself everything he said was a lie I knew deep inside that there had to be a reason why even Seonghwa tried to convince me that Jisung and Minho are the bad guys. Of course... they might have killed Wooyoung's parents in some way but did I know why it happend? No. And I also didn't know if Wooyoung's parents did something bad that deserved being killed.
How was I supposed to decide on which side I'm standing.
No! I was on Minho and Jisung's side!

I kept telling myself that I trusted them but I just couldn't convince myself. It frustrated me.
Aggressively I kicked the corner of my bed hearing a disgusting break sound. When I looked at my right food you could clearly see that it was broken but I didn't feel the pain but only stared at it and felt how the bones immediately grew together again.

"How did they do this?" I whispered to myself having no idea abou the answer. It was obvious that the DNA research of J&M wasn't in the main building and it was neither in floor -1 nor floor -2. There were 5 floors under the ground so maybe... their laboratory was downstairs somewhere?

I turned around and slowly walked to the door. If they hadn't anything to hide there was no problem with going downstairs. I only wanted to see how they were working... it was my right.

When I stepped out of the room I almost bumped into Felix but the boy quickly took a step back so we wouldn't touch each other.
"Mate, watch where you're walking!" He said in annoyance looking down on me but I wasn't up for his shit. My mind was too confused right now so in the end I didn't answer and just passed by him with a bored look to head for the elevator.

"Hey" I heard the boy's voice behind me and calmly came too a stop without turning around.
"Congratulations on your first mission. I heard one of the victims went to your school?"
My muscles tensed at his comment... and I hated myself for that.
The nightmares I had that night were all about Jackson. Yes, I hated him but I couldn't get over the fact that I was the one who shot a bullet through his head.

"It's none of business" I coldly said and continued walking with fast steps but Felix didn't seem to be finished yet.
"Did he beg for his life before you killed him?" he yelled. "Did you see the shine of life leaving his eyes and all the fear in his expression? I wonder-"
"ENOUGH!" I shouted at Felix and turned around before walking straight to the boy and grabbing his throat. He narrowed his eyes while staring at me but didn't show any reactions more than that.
"You're not a cold killer San. See? You regret it, don't you?" he said in a serious voice and locked eyes with me.

In that moment it felt like I was diving in ice cold water making my body shiver for a second. This feeling was familiar... it was the same feeling I had when I stopped feeing the pain when Minho and Jisung made their tests.
It was like suddenly all your emotions and your heart are frozen and I finally felt like breathing again.
"Regret? Regret you say?" I chuckled and smiled at the freckled boy.
"The person I killed did things that deserve to be killed. If I remember correctly his friend even stabbed me in the back. Haha"
I tightened my grip around Felix's throat and pulled him closer. Slowly he began to gasp for air but I couldn't do anything about it. It was like another me controlled my body and no matter what I screamed inside my head, nothing happened.