a rose, a nymph,her thoughts

bOys part 1

Let me tell you something, in my life i dare say I have more guy friends than i consider really good friends than girls.  NO, I'm not one of those " I LOVE BEING FRIENDs IWth GUys CAUSE GiRLS hAVE DrAMA"  My girl to boy ratio friends is the same, it is. What I'm trying to say is, it's easier for me to claim a guy as a good friend  idk maybe because same "guy-esque" attidue or what not. A lot of factors come into play. 

And let me explain, I have a lot of girlfriends who I'd DIE for.  I personally think ( read: just an opinion based on my observation ) girls are more likely to have smaller group of friends and are very picky with who they hang out with because were VERY individualistic people,which is a quality I admire alot.I like it that we're like that, but I don't want the bitchiness of it you know what I'm saying?  hahah making friends in general is already hard.its amazing we get like a variety of girl groups, the internet babes, the goth girlies etc. ( read : ive met very mean and bitchy people who literally ignore someone just because they have some superior complex and they think some people are not cool enough to be in their clique. when i say people i INCLUDE boys yall i aint attacking anybody)

But with boys, you know they're like dogs, they run in packs. Yes they also have different groups too, but have you seen that one video on the internet that goes :

Guy wearing stripes : stripes!

Guy 2 who is also wearing stripes : duUde

and then they sit together for the rest of the class. 

Yeah, trying to make friends with boys (through my experience and the boys Im surrounded with) are like that.

Anyway, the point of this little rant opinion thingy is, I like boys, I like being friends with them (the non mysogynistic, respectful , emotionally intelligent kind ofc, i've run into ALOT of nasty ones and pick fights with them)  

they're extremely chill and do everything with a light heart, which is sometimes impossible when youre trying to get serious bussiness done. Well girls can be like that too, lol maybe i just feel much more comfortable doing that with boys?? But then again I do have girlfriends that i do that with too...I dont know, what I'm saying. This past one year, I've been doing stuff like that with a group of my close guy friends bcs well, idk we accidentally became a group of friends LOOOL

Ok back to the point, my experience with guys as close friends have been great so far. But, that's the thing, guys are only great when theyre as friends, but when they become your boyfriend or you both have feelings for each other things just go to shit LMAOO (through my experience) 

I recently got out of a relationship with one of my used to be close guy friend, and when he was my boyfriend.. he was.. weirdly so.. poor at it. I felt alone most of the time and you know what im not gonna dive into the trauma hahaha

Ive seen girls on my timeline complaining about their boyfriends too (read : feeling basically what I'm feeling when i was with my ex boyfriend) and I was like. 

"Oh come on, these people were friends before they started dating too, things were good. What happened???"

 SO maybe, my  little conclusion, boys are just good at being friends, anything beyond that is just difficult and nearly impossible because it involves emotional maturity which I realised not a lot of men have, but what do I know that, it was only one ex boyfriend and a couple of girls on my timeline. So which means : i basically know so little lol

So girlies, leave your emotionally declined boyfriends,,, you deserve better, you shouldnt have to question your worth around them and/or feel alone when youre in a relationship.  You shoudlnt have to apologise or cry for feeling a certain way.Maybe he's just not the one or its not the right timing i dont know.

These are just my thoughts please take it with a grain of salt. Im so young i literally dont know anything about life.

yours truly

r.h