Chaos & Order

Chapter 22

The following day was a more somber affair. Fang's funeral was held. While Siel stayed close to her, Aliyah wished to be alone. She was in an emotional turmoil as they buried her faithful, but deceased familiar. Xavier had him buried just outside the castle walls, a tribute to his loyal service. In the distance, Aliyah heard his pack howling in grief. Such was the bond between wolves.

Not many words were shared between Siel and Aliyah on that day. She just needed that time to herself. Aliyah was thankful for her father holding a banquet in Fang's memory, even toasting the familiar's memory. Words died in her throat, though. She couldn't find the strength for words.

And that night, Aliyah wept herself to sleep. Grief at Fang's demise haunted her all night long. Siel was also haunted...only by the idea of her attackers returning.

The next day...

The heavy sun of mid-noon shone through the curtains. After some delay, Aliyah stirred. She sat up, blinking lazily, still feeling like she had a heavy weight on her heart. She quickly collapsed, groaning as she covered her eyes.

"Too bright..." she groaned.

"Moment, please." Siel said. He stood up and drew the curtains shut, shielding the golden rays from her, "Better?"

Aliyah blinked before saying, thickly, still trying to wake up, "Yes...thank you..."

Siel looked like he was struggling to say something. What he managed was, "I...I thought that you could use some time and now...Aliyah, I'm sorry. That shouldn't have happened."

"Sorry for wha..." Aliyah rubbed her eyes, still exhausted from the last few days. But that was when she remembered. Fang...her guardian was probably feeling guilty over what happened. She supposed it was foolish to think that she was the only one grieving. She gripped the blankets as tears began forming in her eyes, the sorrow bubbling back to the surface, "Siel, what happened...it wasn't your fault."

"I...I don't know. I should have done more." Siel said, "I'm your guardian. If this affected you like this..."

With a sudden whoosh, Aliyah wrapped her arms around Siel's waist, hugging him tight. Siel looked surprised, to say the least, as she pressed her head against his chest, "There was nothing you could've done."

Siel took a deep breath, "I...I'm sorry. It's not the guardian's place to act like this..."

"Stop it." Aliyah said, voice shaking but resolute, "I know...I know you're just making excuses, Siel. About why we can't be..."

"Do you understand what it's like?" Siel asked, "To be a guardian angel for as long as I have?"

"I don't." Aliyah said, tightening her grip.

"Only to then realize...something else." Siel said.

"Something else...?"

"Don't make me say it, Aliyah. Please..." Siel said. Aliyah was shocked. Her guardian was practically begging her. And he had a pained look...well, pained and anxious. Like he was trying to work himself into doing something.

Aliyah looked at him, concerned, "Siel?"

"Don't...please..."

"Siel..." Aliyah's voice broke a bit. "Do you...?"

"P-please..."

Aliyah's grip loosened, "Do you...love me? More than just a guardian and charge...?"

With that, something inside Siel seemed to break as he choked out just one word...

"Yes..."

Aliyah's eyes widened as she gasped. She knew he couldn't lie to her if she asked him, that much he made clear for years, but she still wasn't prepared for that answer. She felt Siel slacken a bit in her grasp, slumping a bit. She wrapped her hands tighter around him, not letting go as she began to cry, "I...I'm so sorry..."

"No, no. No, no...it's fine." Siel said, patting her head.

Aliyah shook her head, burying her face in his shoulder again, "I forced you to answer. I shouldn't have done that...but I had to know..."

"Don't say that. It's...it's okay." Siel said, sounding a bit emotionally overwhelmed, "I'm not used to this. Every time we've...broached this topic, I've had some level of control. Now, though? I just feel...helpless."

Aliyah looked down, fidgeting with her fingers. "Siel? Did you reject me because you thought you would have to choose, like my mother did...?"

"Yes." Siel confessed, "I saw what that loss did to your father. I was afraid that, if the same thing happened...I...I couldn't do that to you."

"But...we know the cause of my mother's death. She was cursed, like when I almost drowned in the lake." Aliyah said quietly. "Only...you were able to save me..."

"But still...that thought was never far from my mind." Siel said. Aliyah looked up at Siel, but the angel averted his gaze, "I'm sorry if that caused you any distress or sorrow."

"I won't ask you to be with me." Aliyah said, forcing herself to stand, "I won't have you choose, knowing that you feel that way. That's enough for me."

Siel stood, and cleared his throat, "I...uh...want to say 'I'm sorry', but I feel like I've said that too often."

Aliyah shook her head and forced a smile as she made her way to the bathroom, "I'm...gonna go get myself cleaned up. I'm sure the others will wonder where I've been."

Aliyah walked into her bathroom and closed the door. She felt ready to break. As much as she did want to have more with him, she couldn't bring herself to put him through that choice And it was nearly fifteen minutes before she could move.

After another fifteen, she emerged, face clean and wearing a simple lavender gown. Siel stood outside, looking attentive as usual. He cleared his throat and said, "You look...well."

"I don't look any different." Aliyah said with a small smile, sitting at her vanity to brush her hair.

"So, consider it a compliment." Siel smiled.

Aliyah smiled at him through the mirror and nodded, "You look well yourself."

    "I don't change my outfits." Siel said.

    "So, consider it a compliment." Aliyah snickered.

    "I walked into that one." Siel chuckled.

There was a knock on the door. Before either of them could answer, it opened. In walked Celestia, "Good morning, you two...though 'good afternoon' might be more accurate."

Aliyah's smile widened as she ran to her mother, hugging her tightly. Siel kept his distance and gave her a short bow, "Your majesty."

"You don't have to do that, Siel." Celestia said as she hugged Aliyah.

"You're the queen, Celestia. I have to." Siel said in jest.

"Yes, but I was your friend long before I was a Queen." Celestia said.

"Protocol must be followed, Celestia. Protocol must be followed." Siel said, playfully holding up a finger.

"You sound like Domiel." Celestia chuckled, "Either way, come down to eat. Your father had the chefs make a big meal."

"Okay." Aliyah kissed her mother's cheek before she left the room. Celestia watched her leave. Siel saw her expression--she was frowning.

"Something on your mind?" Siel asked.

"That wasn't her real smile." Celestia said as she looked at Siel. "What happened?"

"I'm going to see what they have down there. I don't NEED to eat, but I like the smells." Siel said, following after Aliyah.

Celestia sighed, following him. She felt as if her friend had crossed some threshold...but didn't understand it quite yet.