Gone 2 Long (Christen Press/You)

Chapter 16

Y/N's POV

I'm being the bigger person. Here I was, standing outside Christen's door. Do I really want to have this conversation right now? I could just go on ignoring her if she talks to me about anything other than our daughter. I knocked about two times but nothing.

Having this conversation could open up things that don't particularly need to be opened. I'm not even ready for whatever could come. Just as I was about to walk away, I bump into Christen coming up the hallway of the apartment building.

"Oh? Y/n, what're you doing here?"
"I- I was just leaving."
"Okay? Did you come by for something? I wasn't home."
"Yeah I figured. You didn't answer when I knocked."

"Did you want to come in?"
I looked down at my shoes trying to think of a way out of this.
"I told you yesterday I was dropping Braelynn off for her sleepover today."

"Yeah I saw that message. I'm just gonna-"
"Go? Yeah well I'll see you another time I guess." Christen says with a hint of sadness in her voice.

I hear her unlock her door and I turn around.
"Can we talk?"
"Yeah, come in."

I walked in closing and locking the front door behind me before proceeding to sit on her couch.
We sat there in silence for a good minute or so before I decided I should speak up since I knew Christen wouldn't. But then, she spoke.

"I was wrong. I was out of line and I know that. I went too far and it was a low blow. You didn't deserve that and neither did Michelle. I would lie and say I don't know what came over me but, just knowing you're with her and just thinking about you falling in love with her, it hurt me and I couldn't see that happen. I'm sorry."

Well shit. Way to start off the conversation, Press.

"Chris, I understand why you did what you did. I forgive you by the way. I know how it feels to see someone you love with someone else. I was wrong to just walk out and I know I could've handled things better but that isn't entirely why I'm here"

"Then why are you here?" She asks looking at me. Wow, her eyes are beautiful. I already knew that but come on. Christen's eyes are gorgeous.

"Zoey, she helped me realize what I was hiding."
"Which is?"
"I still love you. There was never a point I didn't love you but, I want you. You, were and still are the best thing to ever happen to me. You're still the person I'd take a bullet for, the person I want to protect with my life, the person I want to make another baby with, in the future, but, you get my point. I want you Chris."

Christen has that adorable smile plastered on her face as she looked at me. She scooted closer to me just inches away.
"I'm right here." Christen replies barely above a whisper.

"Okay but the thing is, you have Tobin."
"Oh come on! Y/n you can't say all the cute shit and ruin the mood with that!"
"I'm just being blatantly honest. I'm not going to be the person you cheat on your girlfriend because being cheated on trust me, it doesn't feel great."

"And you're still holding that over my head."
"Chris, I'm just saying. I know you don't want to hurt her which is why you haven't broke off whatever you two have going on."
"It's technically not-"
"Christen, she's invested. She thinks you're invested. The least you could do is tell her you don't want her."

"It isn't that easy."
"It isn't that hard Chris."
"I have a reputation now. Me dumping Tobin would tarnish things I have going right now. Things would spread so fast like a wildfire. I'd be the horrible person who dumped Tobin fucking Heath for-"

"For your own happiness. Screw whatever everyone else thinks about you. You don't need to worry about what people think of you. Be happy. If that means you need to be happy without Tobin then so be it. But I'm not saying jump into something with me right away. Things went so wrong with us before. You and I both did things we shouldn't have, things we regret. Which is another reason I'm afraid. I don't want to hurt you again and I don't want you to hurt me. You make it seem like it's so easy like you're just ready but I'm not sure you know what you really want. I don't want you to wake up next to me one morning and regret coming back to this relationship when you really should be with Tobin."

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I know what I want and I want you, Y/n. You're trying to run away from this. I know you're scared because I am too but, I trust you. I know you. We didn't mean to do the things we did to each other but they happened. We can't change the past. We just have to go on with our lives and I want to go on with you."

"Promise me something."
Christen nods signaling me to go on.
"Promise me you'll end things with Tobin. I can't do this without knowing I can completely have you."
"I promise you, I'm all yours."

I scoot closer to Christen before leaning in, pressing my lips to her soft ones for a gentle kiss. My hand rested on her thigh before she pulls away from the kiss and sticks her hand out.

"We're not doing this on my couch."
I place my hand in hers as she directs me to her bedroom as we shut the door behind us.

. . .

CHRISTEN's POV

The Royals and I were in Portland for our match tomorrow. I'd much rather be back in Utah.
It's been 2 days since that kiss and very intense make out session with Y/n.

To answer your question, no, we didn't have sex. Surprisingly because she loves having sex. She wants to wait until we've built a solid foundation again. Realistically, she more than likely will cave in soon.

"I'm so happy you're here." Tobin wraps her arms around me before placing a kiss on my lips.

... yeah, that's the other thing. I haven't broke things off. Every time I've tried since I got here yesterday, I couldn't do it. She's just... how do you break up with someone like her?! It's impossible.

I feel like I'm cheating on two people at the same time. I want Y/n but not at the expense of hurting Tobin. You would think it'd be easy but, Tobin picked up my broken pieces when Y/n left. I can't just walk away from her.

Tobin sat in my hotel room since Laura wanted the team to stay together. "When's Amy coming back in?"
"I have no idea."
Tobin smirked before pulling me on top of her and attaching our lips again. Yep, not much of a feeling here anymore.

"Babe you seem so out of it."
Tobin frowned as she looked over my face with concern.
"I just- I miss Braelynn that's all."
"Call her. I'll be back. Gotta make sure Amy isn't coming back in."

I watched as Tobin exited my room and I FaceTimed Y/n to talk to Braelynn... and see Y/n's face of course.

Shortly after, the two came to my screen. Y/n's face made butterflies erupt in my stomach and Braelynn pulling at my heart by how cute she is.

This trip is going to kill me. Being without Y/n but being with Tobin and acting like things are okay.... I don't know how much I can handle.