11 July 1976
Sirius is gone. /He left because/ /I don't know why/ /I found out he likes/ He is a queer. I hate even writing it down. It feels dirty and wrong. Kreacher caught him tossing off over a picture of one of his friends and told Mother and Father. I have never seen Mother so angry about anything. I thought Father would strap him for sure but he was calm about it. He told Mother not to make a scene. He and Sirius went off somewhere to talk I think but when they came back Sirius was fuming. He shouted at Father and called him disgusting and an old pervert. I don't understand how he can say that when he's the one who is a queer. He did not act ashamed at all. I would be if it was me. Its not natural. He'll be a scandal just like /Uncle/ Mother's brother Alphard. He said he won't stay in the same house with Mother and Father anymore. Father told him not to come back until he is prepared to do his duty. It was awful. I was sick after he left and have not eaten anything all evening. Sirius didn't even say goodbye.
12 July 1976
Father is taking things very hard. Mother is just angry. She says Sirius can consort with his own kind in the gutters for all she cares. She seems angry with Father too but I don't understand why. I don't see how Sirius being a queer can be Father's fault. He's a good Pureblood man. I am their only son now. Unless Sirius agrees to stop being a queer and comes home I am the heir and must set a good example as a proper Pureblood man. I have always tried to but now I feel like I have to be extra good to make up for Sirius. I will not let them down like he did. I will do my best to make them proud to have me for a son.
27 September 1976
Snape stole my diary and read it. He says diaries are for girls. He has been even nastier than usual since he split up with his girlfriend. He said he was going to use a permanent Sticking charm to paste up the pages all over the school for everyone to read. I was frantic. Helly thought it was because I didn't want people reading my private thoughts. I couldn't tell her the real reason but she'll know soon. Everyone will. She went to Slughorn and he made Snape give it back but it was too late. He had already read the part about Sirius. He knows now. He asked me which of Sirius's friends he was tossing off over (if it was Potter) but I wouldn't tell him. I was supposed to keep this quiet. No one outside the family was supposed to know. I should never have written about it. Snape will spread it all over the school. By tomorrow everyone will know what Sirius is and they will tell their families. We'll be the talk of Wizarding Britain and it will be all my fault. Mother and Father will be livid. I've made a mess of things. They will never be proud of me now.
29 September 1976
On a page stained with tears: Everyone knows. They all think its disgusting or hilarious or both. They don't just think it about Sirius either. People keep asking if he ever did things to me when we were younger. I keep telling them he never did but I don't think they believe me. Helly told some people off for laughing about it. She is being really good about everything. She doesn't think its funny. She doesn't think its disgusting either. She says one of her older cousins is a girl who sometimes has girlfriends and sometimes has boyfriends. The family keeps quiet about her, but Helly likes her. Helly thinks maybe people can't help who they fancy. Maybe she is right. I can't imagine anyone choosing to be queer if this is how people treat them. Sirius knows its my fault everyone knows. I saw him today between classes. He didn't say anything but from the way he looked at me I know he hates me. No owl from Mother and Father yet but probably by tomorrow. I wish I could go back and make the last two days not happened or make everyone forget. Why can't I do anything right?
