BAD

Chapter Twenty-One: Talks

Song of the Chapter: All About You by Birdy 

I just know my face looks like shit. It feels like it. My eyes aren't swollen shut anymore but I am sure the bruises are black and blue against my ghost pale face. Washing it was a bitch, too. 

"Your doctor prescribed cream and pain pills for you," Daughnt tells me from the drivers seat next to me. He offered to drive me back in his jeep while Taylor drives my car back to my campus. I agreed because my head hurts so bad. It feels like a never ending hangover. Even after my snapping on him, Daughnt was-is still here for me. It is so hard to comprehend why, but I know I need him to survive. I need him to live.  Why is that?

"I know," I mumble. I am cuddled up in my seat with one of Taylor's red comforters around me. She is sweet. I'll admit it to myself, but no one else. 

"So," he continues as we cruise on the not so busy highway. The ride has been really awkward so far because there are so many elephants being avoided. "I didn't want to bring this up at the hospital...but you have to press charges on Dirt." 

I let out the longest sigh ever. He isn't serious right now. "I am not getting him locked up," I grumble lowly. 

"What do you mean?" Daughnt raises his voice. I honestly cannot even believe he is trying to have this conversation with me. 

"I mean he needs help. Not jail."

"Rose are you fucking serious right now? He beat the shit out of you and you don't think he should pay?" His grip on the sterring-wheel tightens and he clenches his jaw. 

"That is your brother!" I scream. I unwrap the cover and point my finger. "He is your brother and he needs help!" I know what Dirt did to me was bad; so bad. But he is also on drugs and has never put his hands on me before now. I know he is crazy, and a terrible person but he wasn't always like this. He used to be as sweet and as caring as someone so fucked up could be. Daughnt knows this. 

"Don't blame that behaivor on those drugs," he glares at me before focusing back on the road. "He knew what he was doing. He needs to go to jail. I have stood behind him and tried all I could for that guy, but this was just dead fucked up; period."

"Well I'm not pressing charges," I unsnap my seatbelt and climb to the back. He is really pissing me off. Who wants to send their own brother to jail. Drugs are easier to get in jail anyway. 

"The judge could sentence him to rehab instead of jail, Rose. I would prefer jail, but they could set it up so it becomes mandatory for him to get better. If you really care about him, that's what you'll do."

"Listen! I don't need this shit right now! I don't care if that mother fucker over doses at this moment, but I'm not sending him to jail. Leave me the hell alone." I lie back across the back seat fuming. I know his idea is right and I know what I just said barely made sense, but I can not deal with any of this right now. I am literally trying to stay sane. Literally. I can't keep Dirt sane too. 

This whole situation is fucked up. Beyond darkness really. I always put myself in the shittiest situations that lead me to even shittier ones. I need to stop whatever the hell I am doing or not doing before I go crazy. I swear I can feel it coming. 

"I'm sorry," Daughnt apologizes after a half hour of silence. I stare at the grey car ceiling in defeat of my life. I sigh.

"Me too."

"I just want the best for you Rose. I want you to have the world." 

"I know."

"I love you, you know. More than anybody else in the world, even though I am in love with Taylor."