school starts in three days oh my god, i'm so scared. the crowded hallways, the people. it's so hard being antisocial and nervous. as well as insecure. i always get scared people don't like me or think i'm annoying which is why i don't make conversation or anything. well hopefully that changes, i'm a sophomore. i can't be spending my whole teenage years being scared if i wanna have fun.
i wanna have a social life, yk? going to parties, sneaking out, watching sunrises with your friends, and just living our best lives. all of us, as a group. i really hope i can meet them this year, don't get me wrong i love my boys back home but i need friends.
here.
where i am.
i was chillin in my room, it was around 10pm. i just had a music station playing from the tv. over the past couple days i been talking to some of the guys, from alejandros friend group. i only had roshaun, kairi and mattia on snap.
i tried my best not too talk to mattia a lot because i didn't want to get attached to someone i know i can't have. i don't wanna develop these feelings for him when there isn't a chance. there's no way he likes me he's famous and good looking. plus he's my brothers friend, i can't. instead of a girl code or bro code it's like a sibling code yk? too not date each other's friends, so. me and mattia texted here and there, short convos like
"wyd" or "how are you."
we're both kinda hm, quiet? we don't talk much and we're kinda shy i noticed. he tries small talk a lot too people to hide it but i noticed he's usually the one sitting back just looking around.
he's the definition of these emojis: 🥺👉👈
literally.
me and roshaun just have a streak, we aren't that close i guess. we never talked at all at the dinner or over snap, we just send streaks. that's literally it.
me and kairi do talk often tbh, i can't call him my best friend since we just met a couple days ago but i'd consider him that personally. we're pretty close. some days we facetime, we text often and it isn't the same boring dry conversations. we literally talked about if aliens were real yesterday, i'm starting to think he could be my best friend or something.
seriously!
i was cleaning up my room a little while the music station was still playing, just fixing up my clothes in my dresser and closet. as well as hanging up some paintings that i did. i had my skateboard by my bed, my mom will probably yell at me telling me to move it but knowing my lazy ass i'll just say i will then end up forgetting. it's whatever though, my room right?
it was 2pm when my mom called me and alex too come out our rooms and eat some late lunch? idk our family would consider it late.
me and alex came out our rooms, he was kinda dressed up? he wasn't in pajamas so i questioned him while we were walking to the countertop.
y/n: where are you going? a: uh nowhere. y/n: so you dressed up for yourself? a: no? y/n: so? a: can you stop barging in my business? y/n: it was a QUESTION. a: look i'm planning on hanging out today. y/n: but we were gonna go clothes shopping with mom? a: yeah i know but me and the boys are gonna go buy clothes. y/n: oh. a: yeah. mom: oh you don't wanna go with them y/n? y/n: no, wouldn't wanna intrude.
i grabbed the popeyes bag and went in my room, i started to eat on my desk. i was just watching on my block while eating. suddenly i was getting a call. i turned from my tv and looked at my phone.
"kairi would like to facetime"
decline accept
i answered his call.
y/n: hey? k: oh alex told me that you didn't wanna come to the mall with us, did we do something? y/n: what? no, alex didn't want me to come. k: huh? y/n: yeah he told me he was going to the mall with you guys but he didn't really invite me... so. k: oh, well i'm inviting you. y/n: no no it's fine i understand it's a guy thing. k: too shop for clothes? it isn't just a guy thing, girls have to do it too. y/n: but you guys are his friends not mine. k: ouch. y/n: what? k: i thought we were friends? y/n: okay yeah but i'm saying you guys are a friend group you know? k: well yeah, i don't know how close you are with the other guys but i wouldn't mind having you there hanging out with us. y/n: oh, i don't wanna bother alex. k: he's your brother, he should be inviting you yk? y/n: i guess... k: just tell him you're coming with. y/n: mm... k: look i was gonna pick him up already, so why don't i just pick you up too? y/n: why are you so nice too me? k: look alex is my boy, just like the rest. i put a lot of respect and effort into my family yk? y/n: wdym? k: alex is a good friend of mine already, you're his sister. kinda feels like i have to play in a role in your life, plus i want too. you're not annoying or basic, you're very different which will make the friendship good because we'll get along most likely. y/n: wow, thanks... means a lot. no one has really ever had that thought of respect so deep for me. k: ah ikwym, you're cool tho so yk. y/n: thanks... you too. k: look just get ready i'm swinging by in a hour, mattia roshaun and alvaro will meet us there. yeah? y/n: okay fine. k: ight bye.
kairi hung up. wow, he's so nice? for what? well he just told me but still.
i guess since him and alex are close he's gonna look out for me too yk?
i got up and changed.
y/n fit:
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