Forgiveness & Trust - A Buddie Fanfiction

Eddie

My shift was just like every other shift. It started off slow. We had a couple calls throughout the day. Nothing too exciting, but the day flew by just like normal. I was plagued by some thoughts throughout the day, thoughts about Buck. I don't know why, but I couldn't get him out of my head. I could see it was getting late, and I knew that Buck and Chris would either be out cold on the couch or hyped up on sugar. So, I decided to go talk to the Capt as soon as we returned to the firehouse.

"Hey Capt," I said, hopping out the truck.

"What's up Eddie," he asked.

"I was wondering if I could go check on Chris at Buck's and maybe invite them back here for dinner," I asked.

"Um. sure," Capt said, a little skeptical in his tone, "But keep a radio on you in case we get a call before you return."

"Thank you Capt, will do," I said as I took off to my car.

When I got to Buck's apartment, I knocked with no response. I then got the spare key Buck gave me a while back out and unlocked the door. I shut the door as quietly as possible, and I moved to see where they were at. I found both of them out cold on the couch, but that was after I found all the opened and eaten snacks on the counter that I had packed for Chris. I didn't see any sign of a decent meal having been prepared, so I decided to wake them. As I walked over to the couch, I heard Buck mumbling something. I leaned closer to him and heard him mumbling one thing over and over.

"Eddie," he kept saying. He said it so softly and so sweetly. Hearing him say my name like that, i noticed myself starting to lean in towards his face, towards his lips. I pulled back and shook myself out of it. I started lightly shaking Buck on his shoulder and saying his name to wake him. When he opened his eyes and saw me, I saw something flash across his eyes, but I am not sure what it was.

It wasn't long before we were on the road headed to the firehouse. I was driving, and I kept looking in the rearview to check on Christopher. He was staring out the window watching the passing lights of the city with a big smile on his face that made me smile. I then looked over at Buck and the look on his face made my smile drop. He looked haunted almost, lost in his thoughts, and I just wanted to help get him out of his own head because I almost lost him and Christopher to the tsunami. I got lucky that they both made it out alive, but now I'm worried about losing Buck to himself.

We walked in to the firehouse to a round of cheers. I couldn't have found a better place for me to start over with Christopher than LA. These people are my family, and they extended that family to Christopher since the moment they first met him. I couldn't ask for a better family, and Christopher seemed to enjoy every minute with these guys. Chimney immediately asked Christopher if he wanted to play pinball, and he smiled. So Chim went and grabbed two rolled-up hoses like last time, and I dragged Buck off to a side room.

"What are you doing," Buck asked in protest as we entered the locker room.

"I'm getting you alone," I said.

"Why," Buck said a little nervously.

"Because you've got me worried," I said, "I can see those gears turning in your head. You're constantly thinking and losing yourself in your own thoughts. So I'm not leaving this room until you tell me what's going on."

"Nothing is going-," He said before finally making eye contact with me then stopping mid sentence, "I just keep reliving that day over and over." He says before collapsing on the bench.

"It's okay," I said as I sat down next to him, "I've relived it too, but you need to remember that we survived, all of us." I put my arm around him and pulled him in for a side hug. I smiled at him and looked into his eyes, and I saw myself leaning in again. This time we were cut off by the sound of the emergency siren going off followed by the intercom announcing the location of the call. I jumped up real fast and took off to the truck. I didn't want to just leave without saying anything, but what was I going to say? Sorry for leaning in like I was going to kiss you? How can you just explain that away? Why was I leaning in in the first place? I didn't mean to, but I also couldn't stop myself. The worst part is that I think some part of me wishes I hadn't stopped.
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And here's chapter 3!!!! Let me know what you think!!!!! Love y'all!!!!!