A Change (of fate)

New Direction

One month.
One person.
One life.
One dream.

Dear diary,
It's been a whole month since Shell's death. And I just, I wish I could do better.
She had a big dream for me, she only told me as she was falling down a cliff, but she still told me.
As her best friend I should have honored that dream of hers, her request of me. And what have I done?
Stayed on the run, in the shadows.
And...
I just can't do this anymore! I'm so sick of hiding, but how can I change things? I...
Man, I'm struggling, not physically. Chelsea and I are fine, easily self sufficient, but this is not what Shell wanted, this is not what... I-I wanted.
I can't do this anymore, I just can't, I think I need to tell Chelsea, infact, I'll do that now.
It's two kilometers travel from where I was to where Chelsea was, and when I arrived, she was doing another count of our supplies.
"...two fish...three rabbits...two bunches of chives.."
"and another two rabbits!"
"Ah! Oh, James! Don't do that!"
"Sorry, hey I-"
"Another two rabbits? How do you manage to do that?"
"It's not too hard, but yo-"
"Good news though! We have enough supplies to ma-make it through to at least the end of the ne-next month!"
"Cool, so-"
"All thanks to you, thank you flufball"
"Anyway, what I've been trying to say is that I think we should move, well, at least me"
"Wha-? Y-you want to b-break up?"
"WHAT!? NO! No, no that's not what I meant! I... don't want to be something I'm not"
"Oh, James. You're wrong, you're not being something your not, you're being more. And I love you for that, please don't change"
"Thanks, but-"
"You're right, we do meet to move, I'll start on the food, can you please pack up the other stuff? Thanks"
Well that went well... Not. I will eventually tell her, no matter how much I have to try.
We packed up everything and headed on our way. Our setup for travel is alright, we had to adjust for the movement of extra weight, so Chelsea made a little costume (not sure exactly what you would call it) which I wore whilst we were on the move, convenient, a bit awkward, but convenient.
We had traveled about 6 kilometers until we stopped again. We decided to have dinner there, but agreed to keep moving after that.
When we eventually stopped again, it was dark. So we set up everything for the next couple of weeks (we don't move around that often). As Chelsea was finishing the unpacking, I decided I'd try to tell her again.
"Hey lovely, what ya doing?"
"...Unpacking, why...?"
"Look, we've been on the run for a while..."
"Yeah, it's kinda fun!"
"Sure, that's one way to describe it. But, I'm not sure if it's what we should be doing."
"True, maybe we should hide instead, we do have plenty of food..."
"No, that's not what I meant, look, you, you're still a student, you still need to live like a child while you can-"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't have that luxury, my choice has already been made for me."
"Aw, James. I know how separated you must feel from the rest of society."
"Yes, and-"
"And that's why I'm here for you, I always will be. I will make sure you're never alone. We will get through together. You, and me."
"...Thanks."
"No worries, I'm always here for you."
But when will that be too far? I don't want to pull her into trouble. I don't want her to be involved with what I need to do, incase this goes wrong, I don't what her to be on the chopping block with me.
"James?"
""Wha-Yes? Oh, yes. I know."
"And don't you forget it."
"Yeah. Look, it's probably time we got some sleep hey?"
"Yeah, true. Snuggle?"
"Definitely"
She's too inoccent, kind, lovely. If anything were to happen to her... No, I just can't imagine it. I have to tell her tomorrow, I have to...