Until We Meet Again

28

Alex's POV

"This sucks," the words surprise me as they leave my mouth. I've been sitting here on his bed, watching him put up the rest of his stuff for the past hour. When I woke up, Austin was scrolling through Instagram and I noticed the pictures of him and his boyfriend on his profile, which kind of made me feel even more terrible.

"What sucks?" He pauses his working and looks at me.

I look up from my book and back at him. "This whole healing process. It's been two years and I feel like I'm just starting this whole process all over again. It sucks."

He nods his head, "yeah I know but you'll get through it."

"Yeah, like I haven't heard that a time or two before."

Austin sets down the book he was holding, he looked like he was about done with trying to make me feel better. "Look, this is no way to live. Stop thinking about him," then the Austin I met comes back and his cheeks turn bright red, his eyes going down to the book. "You deserve better."

I close my book and scoot to the end of the bed to where I'm closer to him. "I guess that makes the two of us."

He looks at me and I see the familiar look of curiosity in his eyes. He's thinking about something, who knows what.

"Alex," he begins to say something else but goes quiet.

"Yes?" I encourage him to continue, my heart starting to beat faster and breathing starting to get slower.

"Nothing," he shakes his head and goes back to working.

I let out a sigh. "Okay."

I scoot back to my spot and focus my attention back on my book. Whatever it was he wanted to tell me, he couldn't force himself to say.

Another hour or two passed by and we hadn't talked at all. I could sense that the atmosphere had changed, making staying in this room extremely uncomfortable.

"Okay, I've got to get some air."

He just watches me as I lace up a pair or tennis shoes and head out the door. I could tell that I hurt something in him, but staying there felt like I was in front of a huge crowd trying to give a speech.

Getting outside where the fresh air was felt like a whole new world. I casually smiled at a couple of people still moving in as I walked to nowhere in particular. There were several people just sitting on the grass talking and laughing as I passed by. How nice it must be to have friends here. All I have is complicated feelings with someone I just met and my ex-boyfriend who makes everything more difficult.

I looked up to the sky, taking in the blue sky clear of clouds. This was probably the first time I had experienced a day with the sun out and no clouds. Back at home, there were basically no nice days. Sucks to be honest, but here in California it was like a different world. Although the heat here was like something else.

Without realizing it, I had stumbled to the end of the campus and to where all the students went on their off days. The place with white sand and bright, blue waves. This is what the beach looks like, I admire the sudden coolness coming off the waves. I could get used to this. I watched as a huge group of students hung out and blasted music from their phones.

"Alex," his voice came from behind me. Oh god, please just be in my head.

I turn around slowly, revealing Ethan. He had changed in a pair of shorts and a white t-shirt. I noticed the dorm key hanging around his neck and my heart dropped. He would be living in the same building as me.

"I know you probably hate me," he started out saying.

I stop him, "probably, it's more like definitely."

He looks like I had just punched him in the stomach. Good, serves him right.

"Look I am extremely sorry," he said.

I looked him over, trying to find some part of the old Ethan I had fell in love with but finding nothing. "Sorry for what?" I knew what he was sorry for but I wanted to hear him say it.

"Sorry for cheating on you, for everything that I put you through." His words brought back memories that I had shoved to the back of my mind.

I could feel the cold wind on me that was blowing that day on the bridge. I could see the ground below me and feel the emotions that were running through me.

"Alex," his voice jerks me back to the present. "I'm sorry."

I look up at him, taking in his very convincing look of guilt. He got well at lying while we were apart.

"Congrats," is all I could say. His look of pain confirmed that I had hurt him.

I turn my attention to the sidewalk past him and started walking, telling myself not to look back just as I had that day two years ago. Whatever I had felt for Ethan, it was long gone, at least that's what I hope.