Until We Meet Again

32

Alex's POV

We're both breathing heavily when it's over with. Austin's cheeks are flushed and he stares at me with wide eyes. I stare back, unable to say anything. Well now it's awkward, just great!

"Alex," his words come out barely register-able.

"I'm sorry," I let out before he can say anything else. I can feel the heat coming to my cheeks.

"No, it's fine." He assures me and I watch as he wipes his lips.

"No, it's not, you have a boyfriend," I tell him.

He places both hands on the sides of my face, "trust me when I tell you it is fine."

I can't help but think that I just majorly screwed everything up, what if kissing Austin causes his boyfriend to suddenly find out. What if his boyfriend can feel him kissing another guy and comes storming in this dorm room to kill me. I can't die, I haven't even experienced my first job yet. Okay that's it, I am done thinking about dying.

"Alex," Austin's voice jerks me back to the present. "Trust me it will be fine."

He stares at me and I feel forced to nod at him, show some kind of acknowledgement.

Austin leans over and gives me a small kiss on the forehead, something subtle but doesn't mean anything.

"I'm going to go on a run," he gives me a smile.

Something was wrong here, of course I wanted to kiss him, like really badly, but I can't help but think of what could go wrong. What if Austin loses feelings? What if he leaves me as heartbroken as Ethan, maybe even more? I mean it's not like we're in a relationship, but you'd be surprised how hurt you can get even if you're not a couple.

"Austin," I don't even hear myself call his name. It's like I wasn't present, like I was watching from above.

He turns around and stares at me with concern. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do this." I tell him, afraid to look up at him.

I can hear him move closer towards me and a second later he's taking my hands.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't do this."

Austin's mood changes, his next words sound like Ethan's voice.

"Are you serious?"

I look up at him, taking in his cold expression.

"I can't believe you, you don't think I didn't notice how eager you were to kiss me? I mean you were the one who told me I deserved better and when I finally get the guts to kiss you, you just turn me down."

I look at him, trying to figure out where in the world did the old Austin go to.

"It's just I can't have my heart broke again, it's too much."

"And you think that I would break your heart?" His eyebrows go up.

I shrug my shoulders, " I don't know."

"Look, I know your ex broke your heart and led you on for days but trust me when I say I would never think about hurting you."

"I've heard that a time or two," I didn't mean to let that slip out but I did.

"Would you just let me break down those walls that you have built around your heart?"

I look at him with a look of shock. "What?"

"You have put up these walls because of what he did to you and you are holding yourself back from loving someone again."

"That is not what is going on."

He raises his eyebrows, "really?"

I roll my eyes and sigh, "fine maybe that's a little part of what's going on, but I'm serious when I say I can't do this."

It goes silent between us and my words are left to float through the air. I don't know if he's thinking really hard or shocked at what I said and can't get any words out, whichever one it is it's not going to be good most likely.

He looks up at me and I can't tell what's going on in his head by looking in his eyes. I watch as he looks through his bag, still not answering me. A minute later he brings out a pair of headphones and I get the sense that he's not going to answer me, instead go for a run like he said he was going to. My nerves are skyrocketing as I watch him head for the door, plugging in the headphones to his phone. I wait for him to put them in his ears, blocking me out.

He stops in front of the door and I can't tell what he's waiting for. His head turns towards me, his eyes meeting mine.

"I'll wait," I'm shocked at his words. "as long as it takes."

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. That was the last thing he said to me before walking out of the room. What is happening? Whatever it is, I can't let myself fall for him and have the same thing happen again. My heart can't take being broken again, but then again maybe just maybe Austin is worth it all. Worth the falling in love and opening myself back up again.