It's Us

31

9 months without Amria

It's been a month since Amria called us and things haven't gotten any lighter. I've been on bed rest for so long, but contractions are so often that I'm terrified the baby will come early. Reyes gave me a check up and told me that the baby already moved into position, but it's only been 31 weeks. Should the baby come it'll be premature.

"How do you feel, mom?" Oleander asks.

I frown and breathe heavily as the contractions continue. I hold a finger up as if to say not now.

Travis holds my hand and places soft kisses on the back of it as I wait for the pain to ebb away. When it finally stops panic shoots through me. "Travis, I cant have this baby."

"What?" Travis' blue eyes widen, "Katie, you're 31 weeks along—"

"I know that! I mean I cant have the baby now they'll come too early, too premature—"

"I know, my love I know, but we're at camp now, we've already tried bed rest, they're already in position to come."

"Is she going to be okay?" Samuel tugs on Will's pant leg.

The son of Apollo looks down at my youngest child. "Yes, your mom will be just fine."

"Is there anything you need, anything I can get you, Mom?" Oleander runs a hand through his curly hair, a nervous habit he picked up from his dad. I can see in his face that he's scared for me. And despite Will's reassurance, Samuel looks like he's on the verge of tears.

"Ollie, take your brother out of by he room, I'll be okay." I breathe.

"Mom—"

"Oleander, I mean it." I snap. Instantly I feel bad. "I'm sorry, love, please?"

Ollie takes Sammy's hand and the two place a kiss on my forehead before they walk out.

"Everything will be okay," I tell myself. "Everything will be okay, right?"

I turn and look at Travis who's face is sick with worry.

"Tell me everything is going to be okay—everything's okay, right?" I ask him.

He nods.

"Oh gods, oh gods." I shift in the cot I'm lying in. Swinging my legs over it's side, drop Trav's hand, and I begin to sit up.

"Woah! What are you doing?" Will rushes over to prevent me from stand up.

"I have to pee, Solace!"

"Katie, sit down!"

"I'll sit on the toilet, let me pee."

"Kates, don't do this right now." Travis tries to stop me.

I get onto my feet and move to the restroom. "It's not that far away."

Travis takes my hand and Will tries to block my way. "Sit down."

"Relax, I'll just be right back—"

A familiar, yet uncomfortable, trickle falls from between my legs. It's not pee.

The three of us just stand there in silence for a minute.

"Oh gods! Oh my gods! Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no—!" I just stand there, a small puddle at my feet. I'm only 31 weeks along, this cant be happening. My water just broke.

Travis holds my hands again as Will guides me back down to the cot. My husband and mutters a string of curse words between prayers to the gods. The baby is coming.

•••

9 month away from home

I pace nervously outside of the infirmary. Rosie stands beside me. "You know you should go in," She tells me.

"I know."

"How are you feeling right now?" She looks at me.

I shrug. I don't know.

Rosie sighs. She looks at the entrance then at me. I can tell she's torn between wanting to be there for her sister and wanting to be there for me.

"Go ahead, Rosie," I nod.

"I—well, come on." My aunt stutters. "Don't be like that."

"I'll be okay."

"Stop it. You know I love you, right?" She tells me.

I nod.

"I know it's taken me forever to recognize you as my niece but, I love you no matter who you choose to be." Rosie gives me a hug.

My throat tightens and tears brim my eyes. I don't trust myself to speak. I nod again.

"As Amria-Lily, or as Acacia." M'y aunt kisses my forehead. "Your parents and I love you regardless."

I try to blink away the tears as she studies my face.

"Okay?"

I can't hide who I am. I don't even know who I am to begin with, but at the end of the day...I don't think I have to lie to those around me when trying to figure it out. I nod.

"I want to go in." I tell her. "But what if its not the best time for them to see me."

Rosie's lips tighten into a line. "Then you can wait outside their door."

She grabs my hand and nods. We stand at the door fingers intertwined. "Whenever you're ready, we'll enter."

It's just a door. It's just a room. Just the infirmary. Everything will be okay, I tell myself. I breathe in, hold it, then release and breath out. In, hold, release out. In, hold release, out. My mind races. My heart pounds. But nonetheless, we walk through the doors.

may 4, 2020
give me an idea of what you guys what in the next few chapters and if i get to 300 followers i'll write it in
also, i made this really cute pinterest board of u wanna check it out let me know (: hehe
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