Last year I had to ask myself:
At what point do I abandon my friend (who has been nothing but good to me) and our friendship IF what has been said about them is true?
What had been told to me by someone I believed had no intention of ever hurting me or trying to ruin a friendship for their benefit (because of age and initial persona) was absolutely disgusting. The moment the words came out of this person's mouth my inner peace had been disrupted greatly. I didn't even question whether or not what was being said was in fact a rumor. This couldn't possibly be some juicy lie trying to break-up my friendship with someone I like immensely (as a friend of course). How could someone ever lie about that?
None of it sat well with me. Rightfully so, it should not have and it should never ever sit well with me. I am not to ever become numb or comfortable with that evil fact of life. If I was this person telling me all that, I could not have explained the situation as they did and gone on merrily to do whatever it was we did that day. I would have been like me. Completely at a loss for words. Completely disappointed and horrified. This wasn't some petty accusation. It was major.
I had to convince myself what allegedly happened did not happen. And that my friend could never be capable of doing that much wrong. I had to just so I could keep my "act" together for the remainder of my time out in public. The minute I stood underneath the showerhead and allowed the water to pour on to me like the comfort I needed...I sobbed. How? And for what reason? For what sick reason did this ever have to happen?
Several months go by and I still do not know if what words had been passed on to me are, in fact, true or are, in fact, deceitful. I am determined to know, but how do I even bring this up? How do I look the person in the eyes and ask if what had been said about them is true? And what if it is? And what if it isn't? I stood between two arguing actions. They fought over me. One wanted me to stay shut up. The other wanted me to confront. What was peace? So I prayed. I prayed for an opportunity to ask the person if all was true. That opportunity never came to me. There was my answer. Partially.
I had to piece things together to understand my soon to be theory. First I will admit this: I do not know if what had been said is or is not a rumor. The repulsive possibility of the statement being true to happening still exists. I do not know entirely what was true. However, I have come to believe that I had been lied to. Straight to my face. I learned to never believe everything I hear the hard way; for it can, at the minimum, disrupt my peace greatly. Although in the "end" I determined it was a deliberate lie to pervert a friendship of mine because of jealousy (I have reasons to suspect this, but I will not go into detail), I was left with a moral question:
At what point do I abandon someone (who has been nothing but good to me) who, hypothetically, did something illegal (to put it simply).
I do not exist in a perfect world surrounded by perfect people. I know people who have done illegal things. and have served time for their actions. However, we do put degrees on illegality. Jaywalking, to us, is nowhere near murder. Sin is sin; but because we sin, we put degrees on sin. We put degress on illegality. No one I know, that I am aware of, has ever done something my friend did...according to a person I should not have trusted as much as I did at that time, because I had just met them a month ago and, well, they had been deemed problematic by some adults much closer to me than the "liar". I was foolish, naive, and blind. Because of those "traits"...I had to ask myself that moral question. Here was my thinking...
As a generally good person, I should be helping others. I should show the broken and lost compassion. This person is my friend, and as a good friend, I should be helping them grow and better as an individual. However, I should distance myself from this person if what was said about them is true for several reasons. For starters, my reputation could be damaged. I can get away with knowing this "secret" for so long; but if word gets out that I know...I can get in trouble. Why didn't I say something? What would I say to that? Allegedly, the situation had already been handled. "Justice" had been served. So what does it matter that I never spoke up and against him? How can it hurt me if all I intend to do is help them grow and learn better? At what point are my efforts useless? At what point do I walk away from the mess and let Providence take over? At what point?
I leave when they refuse to listen. At least that is what I was told. I never did try to learn if what had been said was true. I found my peace after months of pondering. I still think about the situation and those "involved". I still don't know fully what to do. I haven't been presented the okay to investiagte. I don't know what I would say. I take it as a sign that I should not be pursuing the matter or I will create a very undesirable relation between two individuals and I. All for what? A possible rumor? Fortunately for me, I no longer have to deal with both "friends" daily or monthly. It was yearly, but not anymore. I have no business associating myself with either one regularly. So I am grateful for that. I am also grateful for the situation. I learned several very valuable lessons. The most important being:
Don't believe everything you hear.
