Reawoken Flames 《{ CraigxTweek }》

Chapter 17: The Missing

"He's been gone for days, Stan." I dug my shaky fingers into my blonde hair, having the sudden urge to rip it out. "What if Cartman got him? What if he's dead? Oh, Stan!" I burst into tears, and Stan pulled me against his body, rocking me softly as I cried and screamed into his chest.

Craig has been missing for four and a half days, and it's getting harder to carry on. Stan has been here to calm me down during my panic attacks, lulling me to sleep with whispers and gentle touches. I hate the thought that my life has come to this, crying myself to sleep every night. It was almost too much to bear. I started to regret not saying that I'd be with him, but it was too late for me to go back on that. If he never came back, I'd blame myself forever.

Stan had me pulled against him, cradled in his lap on our bed. Having these thoughts about leaving him made me feel guilty, but I needed something to hold on to. If Craig never came back, Stan was the only one who could fill the void that was growing wider and wider with every passing day. I know it was selfish of me to see it this way, but I couldn't be alone again. I wouldn't survive.

I felt his heartbeat softly beat in my right ear as I rested my head against his chest; my loud sobbing had turned into a slow and quiet tear fall. My energy had been falling more and more every day since everything started, and I was ready for the day that my body finally decided to break.

Stan shifted and pulled me around gently so I could lay my head on the pillow, but he never let me go. He rubbed my cheek softly, and he curled up beside me, watching my face as I turned on my side to look at him. I smiled at the small stubble growing on his face, touching his cheek gently. We both had changed so much over the past few weeks that Craig has been here, and Stan's lack of a good shave put that into perspective. Everything about him was different now. I could see his flaws so much clearer, and he was finally showing them to me on purpose. He wasn't perfect, and that made me happy. Nobody is perfect. I still felt anxious sometimes about specific ways he touched me, but it didn't take me nearly as long to get over my fear of him, compared to my fear of Craig. It was much more freeing to finally be able to stand my own against my fears of either of them, but Stan most of all. I loved him, and I wasn't afraid to stay anymore.

Then why did I feel so indifferent towards him at the same time?

My love for Stan was calm like beach waves, gently rocking us into a calm. I could imagine a peaceful, uneventful life with him now. But at the same time, my spark with him was finally starting to fade away.

Everything was different from Craig. His very touch, while it used to instill anxiety attacks beyond belief, now electrified my body like fireworks bursting in my heart. His kiss, rough yet gentle, was enough to make me crumble. Oh, how I longed to see him again.

Stan cleared his throat, pulling me back from my thoughts. He smiled gently and rubbed my side. "It's going to be okay, no matter what happens."

I nodded and wiped my face on the pillow. "I know, I just hope that he's okay."

"Me too."

Stan turned onto his back, and I instinctively crawled over and laid my head on his chest. I couldn't sleep, not while my mind was racing. Stan gently touched a finger to my forehead, rubbing it down my nose. The action tickled at first, but my brain started to drift. The touch turned soothing, and I finally fell asleep.

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"Tweek..."

Huh? Who said my name?

"Tweek..."

Craig?

"Tweek, wake up."

My eyes fluttered open, and I wasn't met with the bedroom wall or Stan's t-shirt. I was looking out the window of a car, over a city with bright lights. It was dark out, but the full moon lit up the cliff in front of the vehicle. I groaned and looked around, seeing the one person I missed most of all. "Craig..." His hair had grown back, and I could see his stubble on his chin.

Craig chuckled. "You fell asleep again. Was running the coffee shop today that exhausting?"

I felt confused. Was this a dream, or have I just been having a long, vivid nightmare?

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. "Yeah, probably. I just had a bad dream."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No. Never."

He chuckled and rubbed my leg. "Okay. So, do you like this spot?"

I looked down at the city and nodded. "It looks gorgeous."

"I'm sorry I haven't been able to take you on extravagant dates, but I promise you soon, everything will line up for us."

I grabbed his hand, trying to resist the urge to cry. That nightmare had felt so real, and I was just glad it was over. "Craig, you could take me on a date to a cardboard box, and I'd still be happy just to be with you."

Craig smiled. "I know. Oh, I know it's been a while since we talked about it, but do you remember that manager position for Packet Lab I was telling you about? The one with the sign-on bonus?"

"No," I admitted.

"That's okay. But, guess who they just called up about an hour ago to congratulate on getting the position?"

I gasped. "You?!" His smile told me everything, and I launched myself at him, hugging his tightly. "Congratulations! I'm so proud of you!"

"Everything is falling into line. With this position and an increase in wage, the adoption agency will finally approve of us."

Adoption. A child. How much was I forgetting?

"It's all coming together." I sniffed and rubbed my eyes as I pulled away.

"None of this would have been possible without you and Stan. You both did so much for me when I was sick. I just feel bad that I stole Stan's man in the process." He chuckled, and I shook my head.

"He understood."

"I know. Thank you, though. For being my rock." He leaned closer to me.

"I'll always be there for you," I whispered and moved in, longing for his kiss.

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I shot up from bed, looking around for Craig. I sighed and held my head, realizing that I had been wrong. This wasn't a nightmare; it was my life. The beautiful dream I just had was where I wanted to be, but I feared it would never happen.

No. I had to find Craig. I would turn this anxiety into fuel and search for him every waking moment. That dream was the life I wanted to live, and nothing would stand in my way. I wiped the tear from my face and moved out of bed, barely noticing the empty spot where Stan had been.

I pulled on my pants and buttoned up my shirt with my no mistakes, barely recognizing the confident man standing in the mirror in front of me.

I will find Craig, even if it's the last thing I ever do. Nothing will stop me.

Not even Death itself.